Trump Administration Offers Free At-Home Loyalty Tests

[milestogo]

Tool That Diagnoses Disobedience To Be Mailed To U.S. Households




Published: May 12, 2025

WASHINGTON—Citing an urgent need to combat dangerous and highly contagious ideas that might lead people to oppose the president, the Trump administration began offering free at-home loyalty tests Tuesday.

The tests, which are distributed through the government website www.LoyaltyTestKits.com and mailed to the homes of U.S. residents, have been described by the White House as a quick and painless way for Americans to prove they support the agenda of President Donald Trump. In a post on Truth Social, the president described the kits as critical to determining who was a dedicated foot soldier of the MAGA movement and who was a traitor to their country.

“America can ONLY be great again when EVERYONE is loyal to me,” wrote Trump, who went on to blame the previous administration for failing to identify and isolate several virulent strains of anti-Trump sentiment. “Unlike CROOKED JOE BIDEN, the American people LOVE their favorite president of all time! Me! GO ONLINE NOW to order up to 4 test kits so you can ensure the whole family is LOYAL to the commander-in-chief.”

“With your help we are one step closer to being the most obedient country IN THE WORLD,” he added. “Prepare yourselves, radical left haters!!!”

https://theonion.com/trump-administration-offers-free-at-home-loyalty-tests/

(satire)

[doc03]

1. This is from the Onion but sounds like something Trump may do. nt

[sheshe2]

2. It may be the Onion...

but stop giving the maniac ideas. He will probably take this idea and run with it.

[Trueblue1968]

3. Hey DonOLD tRump ..... I am not loyal to you. I am loyal to my country.

[Jerry2144]

4. It doubles as an IQ test

120-Loyalty score=IQ

[Blue Owl]

5. Does it require me to shit in a box and send it to Mag-a-Lardo?

[ms liberty]

6. I hate how reality and The Onion are so close now.

I wanna return to the days when satire was easy to recognize.

[John Farmer]

7. It's getting difficult to tell

if an article is satire or the real thing. I've seen multiple headlines recently that I could have sworn were satire but no Onion attribution....