Is he dead yet?

[Orrex]

Heart attack while trying to bodily prevent the closing of Alligator Auschwitz?

Struck down by divine wrath as part of a twofer deal involving Dobson?

Decapitated while investigating the impact of wind turbine tariffs?


Just fucking died already for literally any reason whatsoever?

[Celerity]

1. Fuck Trump.

[no_hypocrisy]

2. 1. Looked in the mirror.

2. Mirror broke into 1,000 pieces.
3. Those shards of glass can be nasty.

[niyad]

3. Alas, my bottle of bubbly remains unopened.

Still, the day is yet young. One dares to dream.

[SheltieLover]

15. Soon...

🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂

[surfered]

4. Breaking News: President Trump has been assassinated!

The assassin is thought to have been hired by Intel to prevent Trump from extorting a share of the company; however, the cat is not talking, except to meow for tuna.

There is chaos in the White House as Vice President Vance, aka Beardo or Vladimir Futon, has not yet been sworn in as President. One White House official said Vance was on a romantic vacation with his favorite couch and could not be contacted.

Attorney General Blondie was also unavailable as one insider said she was busy dying her roots.

Secretary of Defense Hegseth and U S Attorney Pirro reportedly have called in sick due to really bad hangovers.

Kristi Noem, Secretary of Homeland Security, was in Brazil getting her luscious lips injected with collagen.

In their absence, Stephen Miller said he was assuming the office off the Presidency, but was quickly killed by his own Secret Service detail for the good of the country.

More news as it comes available. We report, you decide whether or not to believe it.

[SheltieLover]

13. Wahahaha!

Love this!

Vladimir futon...

[malaise]

17. 😂😂😂

Too good

[no_hypocrisy]

5. BONUS: B/c TSF is out "patrolling" with the "Police" in DC, the

Douglas Neidermeyer treatment:

[surfered]

6. We've Flushed Rush. It's past time to flush Trump

And Niyad can finally open that bottle of champagne.🍾🥂🍾🥂🍾🥂🍾🥂🍾🥂🍾🥂🍾🥂

[twodogsbarking]

7. Tried to operate a lawn mower and got shredded to pieces. Just because you know more about grass

than anyone doesn't mean you know about lawn mowers.

[malaise]

8. No but

Bolton et al are unhappy campers this morning
https://www.msnbc.com/morning-joe/watch/breaking-john-bolton-s-home-raided-by-the-fbi-245558853902

[Emile]

9. Viciously attacked by LiMu Emu on golf course.

[mwb970]

10. Straws in the wind suggest that the blessed day is getting closer.

[hlthe2b]

11. "For the love of Gawd, make it stop!"

[CaptainTruth]

12. Today's meme

[SheltieLover]

14. Hit by flying debris when puppy murderer's lips exploded from botox?

[txwhitedove]

16. No. Alexa says he's still alive. Damn it!

[Gimpyknee]

18. Nope

[Blue Owl]

19. Nodded off and ended up taking a dirt nap while studying the underside of grass

[republianmushroom]

20. Nope, didn't happen last night, to bad, but ,we are a day closer.

It will happen soon I hope. Don't care how, just that it does happen and soon.

[Sneederbunk]

21. Slovenian death curse.