Just In Time For Christmas: How to Talk with MAGA Republicans Without Losing Your Mind

[BoycottTwitter]

I must confess and say very regretfully that at one point in time I was a Republican and even more regretfully a supporter of Donald Trump. People tried to warn me about him but I didn't listen. It was just like someone said their thing and I said my thing and they got angry and all it did was leave me the same as I was before or perhaps even deeper into the cult because at the time it felt like a bad experience being yelled at and talked at. Although I will admit that reflecting on what I was told at the time once I started to move away from the MAGA cult some of the things that were told to me like how Trump enriches himself by forcing the secret service to use his hotels resurfaced in my mind. So having a conversation with your MAGA relatives, friends or family members can help even if it takes a long time to get results. But you got to be strategic at it and pick your battles. If it just results in someone getting


I recently saw this article: https://jamesbgreenberg.substack.com/p/how-to-talk-with-maga-republicans and I thought it was good. I was actually looking for another article that I saw on Substack a long time ago that I cannot find anymore. If I find that one I'll share it too.

Here's the first part of the article:

Let’s be honest: talking politics with a committed Trump supporter can feel like trying to argue with a bumper sticker. The slogans come fast. The facts don’t land. Disinformation isn’t corrected—it’s performed, often with defiance or knowing amusement. You’re not debating. You’re witnessing allegiance.

And maybe that’s the real issue. We’ve treated these exchanges as if they were about information—when they’re really about identity. We think we’re in a debate, but it’s closer to a ritual. A performance of belonging, not a negotiation of facts.

In some ways, we’re witnessing the replacement of civic ritual with political performance. Where once people gathered to solve problems or deliberate, they now gather around grievance, bonding not over solutions but shared enemies.

So what happens if we shift the terms? What if, instead of talking at them, we started talking with them?

Not about politics. About principles.

Because trying to fact-check a worldview only hardens it. But asking someone what they truly believe—about truth, justice, responsibility—isn’t a challenge. It’s a mirror. And mirrors invite reflection.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

1. Wow. Just wow.

"We think we’re in a debate, but it’s closer to a ritual. A performance of belonging, not a negotiation of facts." is the best summation ever of talking with a Trumper. Thank you for this.

[usonian]

2. You said it. Cult.

I've posted quite a bit about cults, in my amateur way.

TLDR: Cults offer benefits to people who feel down, usually by projecting common weaknesses, fears and failures onto "others"

Like Emmanuel Goldstein in 1984.

And some forbidden or nasty behavior is "legitimized" such as racism, hate, violence and so on.

But it comes at a cost. One loses judgment, dignity, opportunity, and of course, money. All flow only to the "Don" to use mafia analogy.

Cults are always self-destructive.

Like so.



Finding out you've been suckered is often hard for people to figure.

People are afraid to look in the mirror.

[LearnedHand]

3. Very nice, Boycott! How did you do it?

I mean what changed your mind? Was it sudden or gradual? Did you have anyone to bounce ideas off of? What kind of policies and/or actions ended up being places you just wouldn’t follow? I hope this isn’t inappropriate to ask you, because I’m really glad you’re here.

[BoycottTwitter]

8. How it happened

For starters I wasn't 100% on board with everything Republicans stood for notably I wasn't into the evangelical religious-wing of the Republican party and I even then considered myself to be pro-choice. I actually was originally a Democrat but just kind of born into it but during Obama's term I got into reading libertarian leaning content and thought it was "logical"/"efficient" (actually I was naive at the time) and later got influenced by right-wing communities like TheDonald where I again being naive found the conspiracy theories compelling. I didn't like Trump before he got elected but "warmed up to him" meaning got brainwashed by said online communities. Sometimes though I would get this weird feeling about Trump like felt kind of uneasy about him and I didn't know why but in public I would defend him.

In terms of moving away from this I believe that it was a combination of sudden bursts followed by more gradual moving away.

The first thing is if you can find a belief that's stronger than whatever MAGA has you might be able to help move people away from MAGA. My first thing that I remember really moving me away from MAGA was Trump's handling of COVID-19, not only Trump but also the MAGA community. They said masks didn't work and not to get the vaccine once available. I was really into anti-quack stuff and skepticism and considered myself to really be into STEM. So I didn't like how they were denying this.

The next thing as after the election I didn't believe the stuff about it being "rigged", I would sometimes parrot it among other MAGAs but I didn't believe in my heart. This culminated into J6 which I really didn't agree with.

Then after Biden become president I for a little while disengaged from politics, no longer read those right-wing websites and basically just focused on improving my life. During the way I talked to a lots of different people and I really believe this made a huge impact for making me less MAGA.

Then I did start reading more news but it was more neutral and also I did sometimes despite not having an account read Reddit's r/politics and I think the comments did actually kind of influence me. I'll admit psychologically speaking the comments sections can have a lot of influence on people because it feels like a lot of people support something. But in this case I guess it was a good thing. I still admit to this day I guess I'm kind of vulnerable to "comments sections" like I can almost feel the sway or influence when I read them. I guess this go back to how humans a long time ago were tribal. It a little bit reminds me of this article: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2025/may/18/change-mind-evidence-arguing-social-relationships I read earlier.

I started to admit that I appreciated Biden's leadership and especially 2023 and even more 2024 were great years for me and I would do anything to go back to that.

By 2024 I would say I was fully a Democrat and after the election it was a huge shock, I actually cried that Harris didn't win. I remember thinking if I could go back in time 5 years my 2019 self would never believe this but it's happening. I was reading about how Trump was going to install loyalists who are loyal to him instead of the country and it made me feel terrified and along the way caused me to learn more about politics and now I'm hard against everything Trump is doing. Seeing the evil up close helps me understand it. Although currently kind of rare some people who are Trump's harshest critics used to be supporters.

Another thing is along the way seeing how life is more complex and it's not always a matter of someone takes foodstamps because they don't want to work but sometimes they work really hard but life is complex. Getting out more can be a good MAGA antidote.

So basically what it was, was:

Improving my life
Talking to more people, being less socially isolated
Reading more reputable news (I now compare Fox News and similar things to be like a drug addition almost, taking it away can return people to normal, see the documentary Brainwashing of My Dad)
Admittedly influence from the other side but I'm happy I'm here

[LearnedHand]

9. Thank you for this deep dive

In a distant life (decades ago) I too was Republican, as were others here. I’m always very glad to hear other people’s stories about what changed for them. For me, it was a longer journey to change my belief system but my disaffection and decision to not do this anymore was extremely sudden. I simply could no longer bear the hatred of out-groups, and this was well before what we see today.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. Welcome to DU, my dear BoycottTwitter! I'm glad you're here.

And thank you for the article you quoted. Those are some great ideas.

I look forward to reading your thoughts.

[EverHopeful]

5. I often think of it as being about as useful as talking to people about the fairies at the bottom of their garden

but find that Steven Hassan's work can be really helpful and actually gives me some hope that we can recover from this.

https://freedomofmind.com/

[hvn_nbr_2]

6. Facts, arguing with bumperstickers, and MAGA epistemology

On the phenomena of MAGA minds being completely impervious to facts and information: I think it all comes down to epistemology, how they determine what is real and what is true. The essence of MAGA epistemology is this: If they want to believe it, it's true. If they don't want to believe it, it's fake news. All the facts, information, reason, and logic in the world have no effect on their desire to believe.

This results in them fervently believing things that are utterly impossible. Hillary (along with George Soros and Bill Gates) eats live white Christian babies with taco sauce while sitting on the veranda of her sex slave colony on Mars. Reality-based arguments (NASA doesn't know how to get to Mars or how to live there, so how does Hillary? None of Hillary, Soros, or Gates have ever disappeared for months at a time, the time it would take to get to Mars and back, none of the billionaires who could afford a trip to Mars have ever disappeared for months at a time. Why would they have gone to Mars to boink 14-year-olds when Jeff Epstein was having parties right here on earth?) have no effect because none of those are "evidence" that is meaningful to them. The only "evidence" that they recognize as evidence is their own desire to believe. Their impossible fantasy story says something horrible about someone they hate, therefore they want to believe it, therefore, it's true.

[NameAlreadyTaken]

7. Cut them off completely.

They are deadly toxic poison, in their personal lives as well as public personas. The only solution is to ostracize them completely. Otherwise they continue to pollute everyone.