Greenland to Construct Maximum Security Prison for Pedophiles

[groundloop]

Last edited Mon Jan 19, 2026, 12:35 PM - Edit history (1)

NUUK, GREENLAND—The government of Greenland announced on Sunday that it had begun construction in its northernmost region of a maximum-security prison for pedophiles.

The prison, which will house “the worst of the worst,” is a joint venture between Greenland and the nations of the European Union.

A Greenlandic government spokesperson, Hartvig Dorkelson, said that the construction of the prison “should not be seen as an act of provocation,” adding, “The only person who could be offended by this would be a pedophile.”

Andy Borowitz

[NotHardly]

1. LOL!

[2naSalit]

2. K&R

[MarineCombatEngineer]

3. If I didn't know that this was a Borowitz satire piece,

I would swear it was a slap at Trumpedo.

[popsdenver]

16. It took me a minute

to realize it was Borowitz...................and that it was a slap to the face of Trump and all of his Epstein CABAL

[NNadir]

4. Brilliant as usual. KNR.

[William Seger]

5. Polar Bear Alcatraz

[Fil1957]

6. I wish when satire is being posted it would be labled somewhere "satire". This may not have been necessary a few years

ago, but unfortunately these days it's much harder to tell truth from fiction.

[littlemissmartypants]

7. Wouldn't that spoil all the fun?

[littlemissmartypants]

8. Perfecto!! 😆🤞

[BidenRocks]

10. Too good to be true?

Look for Borowitz or The Onion!

I thought of Rudolf Hess in Spandau.

Room for one Mr Pedo!

Welcome to Spandau 2.

The music 24/7 is "Gold" by Spandau Ballet!

Enjoy your life. All the food is Vegan!

[LilElf70]

11. Sounds like a great

way to poke the f'ing orange bear.

[NBachers]

12. Yay Hartvig Dorkelson!

[h2ebits]

13. LOL! Andy Borowitz strikes again!

[Sneederbunk]

14. Greenland to invite TSF to visit northernmost region.

[appleannie1]

15. He is GOOD. He sure knows where to poke.