Dear Dr. Laura Schlesinger....

[orangecrush]

Seen on FB

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations.
A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21 . In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24.
The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1 .
The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death.
Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan.

James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia
(It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian)

[dalton99a]

1. Kick

[orangecrush]

2. Thanks

[3catwoman3]

3. She's still polluting the airwaves...

…with her sanctimonious intolerance?

[orangecrush]

4. Apparently

[SouthBayDem]

29. On SiriusXM and YouTube.

In another era, she would not have as much reach as the usual AM radio hosts. But listener habits have changed to favor the Internet.

[oldsoldierfadingfast]

62. Are you telling me ...

that she is still around and broadcasting? Haven't heard her name for so long that I really thought she was deceased.
She and Trump should get along really well together, should they meet in He... Never mind...

[markie]

5. All excellent points

[orangecrush]

7. Hallelujah!

[Dulcinea]

6. She's still on?

Ugh, can't stand her. She's what my grandmother would have described as "shrill." I loathe that word, but it fits here.

[usedtobedemgurl]

8. It has been so long, so I do not remember the scene completely, but

It was either lifted or modified from a scene in West Wing. The president comes in and sees the person who said that. He goes into a scorched earth spiel with a lot, if not all, of these points. She totally shuts up.

[Amaryllis]

22. The scene in West Wing came later and was taken from the post by Kauffman, which is very old. West Wing took it

from his post.

[Wednesdays]

26. Yeah, I've seen that letter from the OP a long time ago, probably in the late '90s.

If "Doctor" Laura has a podcast or a show now, she doesn't have nearly the following she had in the '90s.

[dalton99a]

9. Schlessinger lies and cheats:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laura_Schlessinger

The credibility of Schlessinger's television program also suffered during its first month, when the New York Post reported that Schlessinger had used show staff to falsely pose as guests on the show. A September 25, 2000, episode named "Readin', Writin', and Cheatin'" featured a so-called college student who specialized in professional note-taking. On the next day's show, "Getting to the Altar," the same guest appeared in different hair and makeup and said she was a woman living with her boyfriend. In fact, the woman was San-D Duchas, a researcher for the show whose name appeared in the closing credits of the shows on which she posed as a guest.[43]

By November 2000, advertisers that had committed to Schlessinger's show had pulled their support due to plummeting ratings.[44]

[CincyDem]

10. "...but in my house, when the President stands, nobody sits".

[BonnieJW]

69. That was a great episode

[some_of_us_are_sane]

11. I call the Dr. Laura Schlesinger type of Christian...

when they are quoting the bible, a "Pick and Chooser". LOL!!

Delightful, INSIGHTFUL post, orangecrush!

[orangecrush]

12. Thanks!

[harumph]

14. A quibble: Schlesinger converted to and practices Judaism (since 1998) per Wikipedia

Her father was Jewish and her mother Italian Catholic, so she was not halachically a Jew at birth.
She had to convert. Hence, using your definition, she is a "Pick and Choose" Jew.

[some_of_us_are_sane]

20. Even BETTER, harumph!

[wolfie001]

73. .....

[Vinca]

13. Brilliant!

[Crowman2009]

15. Wasn't she the hypocrite that had naked photos from the 70's resurfaced a couple decades ago?

[Wednesdays]

27. And the photos were taken

...by the man she was having an affair with at the time.

[Crowman2009]

70. Still not as crazy as when her son thought it would be funny to put a gun in his mouth and take a picture...

...while deployed to Afghanistan.

[MustLoveBeagles]

63. Yes

Bartcop would post them often with an unflattering photo of W covering her nether regions.

[Jacson6]

16. This letter goes back 20+ yrs. Didn't she quit radio or has she passed away? n/t

[orangecrush]

23. According to Wiki

She's still active.

[MustLoveBeagles]

65. She's still alive

[SocialDemocrat61]

17. From the West Wing

?si=FnJE551aGJbohxkG

[AZ8theist]

66. Love that scene!!

[PatSeg]

18. Well done!

Reminds me of that iconic scene on The West Wing when President Bartlet took down an uptight bible thumper. It is probably the most watched segment on YouTube.

[3catwoman3]

67. This masterful takedown of smug righteousness...

…never gets old.

[PatSeg]

72. Yes,, brilliant writing

When I think of every religious bigot I've encountered, I find myself wishing I'd said something like that.

[kellytore]

19. She has always been a hypocrite.

On her show she would talk against cheating especially with a married man. In the 1970's she had an affair with a married man who had 3 children. They eventually shacked up together for 9 years before they got married. Oh, and she also condemned people on her show who lived together before marriage.

[SergeStorms]

21. Damn it, where's my Canadian?

I have great esteem for our neighbors to the north. For the most part, they're much more civilized than the MAGAts we have to endure on a daily basis. Love ya', my Canadian friends and relatives!

[3Hotdogs]

24. She is on Sirius/XM

She has a commercial that promotes her show.

It sounds like she had a stroke. Seriously, not a jike.

[Fil1957]

25. I was listening to her show many years ago, and a listener called who was estranged from her parents because of a

major disagreement in years past. Not abuse or anything like that, just a major dispute over some issue maybe political, maybe financial that I can't remember now.

The caller said that years later her parents contacted her, said they were sorry, asked for forgiveness, wanted to reconnect and see the caller's child -- their grandchild for the first time.

The caller was asking if it was okay to do this. I was sure I knew what Schlesinger or any decent person would say -- of course you should forgive your parents and let them see your kid.

Schlesinger said "no" do not forgive, do not forget and never let them see their grandchild. I was stunned. I could tell the caller didn't expect that answer and was also stunned, as she was at a loss for words.

Schlesinger was encouraging behavior that was petty, vindictive and cruel over the airwaves. She lost me then.

[RedWhiteBlueIsRacist]

28. When Leviticus (Wayyiqra) is mentioned, I'm reminded of that Twilight Zone episode, "To Serve Man"!

Schlesinger might want to watch that episode.

[NNadir]

30. You want to own a Canadian, eh? I'm kind of wondering if one of them would like to own me.

It seems like a minor sacrifice to be owned by a Canadian if one can get out of a fascist hell.

[orangecrush]

36. Same

[ret5hd]

54. caution: you'd be hiking a lot...

tapping maple trees in the beautiful outdoors.

just warning you.

[evilhime]

31. West Wing

President Bartlett made a similar speech to a radio host . . . I loved it then and I love it now!

[not a texan]

32. Bartcop had fun mocking her

He would point out her hypocrisy and then show several pictures, some censored by him, of her taken by her married boyfriend. He would put his logo over her spread eagle shots.

[MustLoveBeagles]

64. The ones I saw he used a photo of W

[azureblue]

33. Leviticus bans ---

76 things banned in Leviticus
1. Burning any yeast or honey in offerings to God (2:11)
2. Failing to include salt in offerings to God (2:13)
3. Eating fat (3:17)
4. Eating blood (3:17)
5. Failing to testify against any wrongdoing you’ve witnessed (5:1)
6. Failing to testify against any wrongdoing you’ve been told about (5:1)
7. Touching an unclean animal (5:2)
8. Carelessly making an oath (5:4)
9. Deceiving a neighbor about something trusted to them (6:2)
10. Finding lost property and lying about it (6:3)
11. Bringing unauthorized fire before God (10:1)
12. Letting your hair become unkempt (10:6)
13. Tearing your clothes (10:6)
14. Drinking alcohol in holy places (10)
15. Eating an animal which doesn’t both chew cud and has a divided hoof (cf: camel, rabbit, pig) (11:4-7)
16. Touching the carcass of any of the above (11:8)
17. Eating – or touching the carcass of – any seafood without fins or scales (11:10-12)
18. Eating – or touching the carcass of - eagle, the vulture, the black vulture, the red kite, any kind of black kite, any kind of raven, the horned owl, the screech owl, the gull, any kind of hawk, the little owl, the cormorant, the great owl, the white owl, the desert owl, the osprey, the stork, any kind of heron, the hoopoe and the bat. (11:13-19)
19. Eating – or touching the carcass of – flying insects with four legs, unless those legs are jointed (11:20-22)
20. Eating any animal which walks on all four and has paws (good news for cats) (11:27)
21. Eating – or touching the carcass of – the weasel, the rat, any kind of great lizard, the gecko, the monitor lizard, the wall lizard, the skink and the chameleon (11:29)
22. Eating – or touching the carcass of – any creature which crawls on many legs, or its belly (11:41-42)
23. Going to church within 33 days after giving birth to a boy (12:4)
24. Going to church within 66 days after giving birth to a girl (12:5)
25. Having sex with your mother (18)
26. Having sex with your father’s wife (18:8)
27. Having sex with your sister (18)
28. Having sex with your granddaughter (18:10)
29. Having sex with your half-sister (18:11)
30. Having sex with your biological aunt (18:12-13)
31. Having sex with your uncle’s wife (18:14)
32. Having sex with your daughter-in-law (18:15)
33. Having sex with your sister-in-law (18:16)
34. Having sex with a woman and also having sex with her daughter or granddaughter (18:17)
35. Marrying your wife’s sister while your wife still lives (18:18)
36. Having sex with a woman during her period (18:19)
37. Having sex with your neighbor’s wife (18:20)
38. Giving your children to be sacrificed to Molek (18:21)
39. Having sex with a man “as one does with a woman” (18:22)
40. Having sex with an animal (18:23)
41. Making idols or “metal gods” (19:4)
42. Reaping to the very edges of a field (19)
43. Picking up grapes that have fallen in your vineyard (19:10)
44. Stealing (19:11)
45. Lying (19:11)
46. Swearing falsely on God’s name (19:12)
47. Defrauding your neighbor (19:13)
48. Holding back the wages of an employee overnight (19:13)
49. Cursing the deaf or abusing the blind (19:14)
50. Perverting justice, showing partiality to either the poor or the rich (19:15)
51. Spreading slander (19:16)
52. Doing anything to endanger a neighbor’s life (19:16)
53. Seeking revenge or bearing a grudge (19:18)
54. Mixing fabrics in clothing (19:19)
55. Cross-breeding animals (19:19)
56. Planting different seeds in the same field (19:19)
57. Sleeping with another man’s slave (19:20)
58. Eating fruit from a tree within four years of planting it (19:23)
59. Practicing divination or seeking omens (tut, tut astrology) (19:26)
60. Trimming your beard (19:27)
61. Cutting your hair at the sides (19:27)
62. Getting tattoos (19:28)
63. Making your daughter prostitute herself (19:29)
64. Turning to mediums or spiritualists (19:31)
65. Not standing in the presence of the elderly (19:32)
66. Mistreating foreigners – “the foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born” (19:33-34)
67. Using dishonest weights and scales (19:35-36)
68. Cursing your father or mother (punishable by death) (20)
69. Marrying a prostitute, divorcee or widow if you are a priest (21,13)
70. Entering a place where there’s a dead body as a priest (21:11)
71. Slaughtering a cow/sheep and its young on the same day (22:28)
72. Working on the Sabbath (23:3)
73. Blasphemy (punishable by stoning to death) (24:14)
74. Inflicting an injury; killing someone else’s animal; killing a person must be punished in kind (24:17-22)
75. Selling land permanently (25:23)
76. Selling an Israelite as a slave (foreigners are fine) (25:42)

[dalton99a]

43. +1

[SCantiGOP]

44. I do like #66:

You must treat a foreigner like you treat the native-born. I guess MAGA just assumes that is a misprint, or was overturned by the Supreme Court.
I am, however, glad to see that #69 allows me to marry a divorced prostitute since I am not a priest.

[keroro gunsou]

53. #41

looks like Judas Priest fans are fucked.

sheesh, Leviticus makes the Rules of Acquisition make more sense... and more applicable.

[Collimator]

60. "29. Having sex with your half-sister (18:11)"

Abraham was married to his half-sister. In one narrative, he allowed some powerful ruler to take his wife/sister as a wife/concubine because he was afraid the ruler would kill him to possess her if he admitted that they were married.* So, he basically said, "Yeah, take my sister."

Granted, Abraham (supposedly) lived and died in a time before the laws of Leviticus were passed along, but he is considered the Numero Uno Patriarch of Israel.

In another book-- it might have been one of the Samuels-- King David's son, Amnon, has the hots for his half-sister, Tamar.** He arranges for them to be alone together so he can rape her, and she attempts to dissuade him by telling to ask their father to marry her instead.

This does not stop him.

As a young woman reading this particular narrative, I was singularly struck by the verse noting that, (And I am paraphrasing here.), afterwards, "the hatred that he felt for her then was greater than the love*** that he had had for her before." Or, as the Irish saying puts it, "You never hate anyone so much as someone to whom you've done the dirty to."****



* I could look up book, chapter and verse for you, but to quote a British online acquaintance, "I can't be arsed to do so."

** If you are woman who finds herself living in Bible Times, try not to be named Tamar.

*** "Love" is the word that the Biblical text uses; don't come for me over it.

****And this saying is as simplified an explanation for the continued racism in this country against Black people as you are ever going
to find.

[czarjak]

61. Sounds complicated.

[sl8]

34. Clever, but not written by Prof. Kauffman

He did write a book regarding the comments about the letter, though.

https://www.specialeducationtoday.com/p/james-m-kauffman-1940-2024

James M. Kauffman, 1940-2024

On the passing of a powerful advocate for kids with disabilities, their families, and their teachers—and a friend of mine

John Wills Lloyd
Sep 25, 2024

[...]

Perhaps the most famous publication attributed to Jim was not one he actually wrote. A letter to Laura Schlessinger, radio personality noted for providing self-help advice, was falsely attributed to Jim. It was widely circulated on the Internet in the first two decades of the 2000s. The letter questioned “Dr. Laura’s” use of scripture to condem homosexuality. The “Jim” of the letter explained how religious criticisms of contemporary life could be mistakenly attriuted to Biblical standards. The author of “the letter” took on Jim’s voice and repeatedly challenged ideas, asking if it was OK, for example, to own a Canadian becasuse Biblical text discussed enslaving neighbors, what price one should ask when selling his daughter into slavery, and whether one is morally obliged to put to death a neighbor who works on the sabbath. Althought Jim didn’t write the original letter, he got lots of correspondence about it; true to form, he organized the correspondence and reprinted it with commentary in his book, Cyber Abuse: The Dr. Laura Letter.

[...]

[orangecrush]

37. Thanks

[Submariner]

35. Leviticus 18:22? Sounds more like Huckabee 86:47?

[ananda]

38. That was great!

[MuirHero]

39. That's a classic!

Thanks for posting!

[SuzyandPuffpuff]

40. Share this!

Too brilliant... thank you

[orangecrush]

41. Most welcome

[EverHopeful]

42. Doesn't Leviticus also say adulterers should be put to death?

Awfully glad we don't follow Leviticus but this Smorgasbord Leviticus keeps being spouted by those who want to stir up hate for anyone who doesn't follow the rules they pretend to follow.

[orangecrush]

48. Exactly

[phxjurist]

45. Dr. Schlessinger is everything she is against.

People need to read her background before they listen to her. Her background shows what a sinful person she is.

[orleans]

46. this was a stitch! so funny. my favorite

was in #8 "how should they die?"

thanks for posting this!

[orangecrush]

47. You're welcome

[Blue Owl]

49. The Doctor is out cherry picking

[BeneteauBum]

50. Made my day......thanks!

Peace ☮️

[orangecrush]

52. Most welcome

[choie]

51. I thought she had passed away a few years ago.

On edit - it was Dr. Joy Browne, another radio shrink, who passed away in 2016.

[rubbersole]

55. Does Ezekiel 23:20 mean we must ban the Bible from public schools?

Pretty kinky coming from god's book.

[mdbl]

56. Kathleen Madigan's take

She has an even longer bit about Dr Laura but couldn't find it on youtube.

[Chi67]

57. Did she respond?

I would love to hear her reply.

[jmowreader]

58. The only thing I get out of Lev. 18 is the Levites would fuck anything that moved

I swear this thing reads like third-rate porn.

[MrsCheaplaugh]

59. An oldie goldie

Thanks for bringing it back. I need a chuckle.

[calimary]

68. This is an oldie-but-a-goodie. STILL one of the best, IMO.

And could a Californian ever own a Canadian?

Asking for a friend.

[Captain Stern]

71. Similar scene from The West Wing