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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsOMG I just had to cut off my MAGA son.
I really didn't know how MAGA he was. He lives in another state. I have been sending him emails about what this administration is doing and how our democracy is in peril. This has been going on for about a month. I realize now that he didn't even read them. They were expansive, had links, and documentation to back it up. He wouldn't even look. He wouldn't even take a look.
He is Christian, college educated, and I thought empathic and reasonable.
But he just emailed back to me that "Ive voted for Trump 3x - and will do it again when hes on the ballot for a 3rd term in 2028."
I wrote back that I was disappointed that he was in a fucking MAGA cult and not to contact me again.
I am so brokenhearted.
Baitball Blogger
(52,889 posts)Deuxcents
(28,187 posts)msongs
(74,493 posts)hookaleft
(1,255 posts)I love him with all my heart and soul. But I just can't accept that he refuses to see the danger we are in.
And he's a part of it! You just refuse to admit to yourself what your son has become!
What you should prepare for is the moment when he turns on you!
Children turning in their parents for anti-government sentiments or political dissent is a well-documented phenomenon, historically weaponized by totalitarian regimes to enforce state loyalty over family bonds, and seen occasionally in modern ideological conflicts. Regimes often cultivate this behavior by systematically indoctrinating youth through state education and youth organizations, elevating the state as the ultimate parental authority.
Torchlight
(7,221 posts)It's hard not to wonder how a relationship gets all the way to this point without a few chapters missing.
hookaleft
(1,255 posts)I have gone completely crazy against everything that is going on and I am so scared for me and our country.
Response to hookaleft (Reply #7)
Brenda This message was self-deleted by its author.
niyad
(135,277 posts)an automatic, ingrained habit.
RandySF
(87,811 posts)Hes deep into bro culture with his fraternity, UFC etc. He says he doesnt like Trump but theres telling where it all goes.
pnwmom
(110,344 posts)She's ashamed of our gay father, and wants us all to stay in the closet with her.
ProudMNDemocrat
(21,030 posts)Because she KNOWS I will question her MORALITY for her support of Donald Trump. Or her "HOPEFULNESS" for the future. I wonder how "hopeful" she feels for the future now, despite all the shit he has done. She went MAGA in 2024. The last time we talked was when my husband was dying in May of 2025.
I feel for you. My sister is also an Evangelical Christian, which is why I would question her MORALITY.
senseandsensibility
(25,991 posts)I simply do not discuss politics with my maga relatives. There is no getting through. Of course I don't know your situation and can't speak to it specifically, but I wish that I had realized that earlier. It would have saved me a lot of grief.
buzzycrumbhunger
(2,382 posts)I grew up in Iowa, which was blue as long as I could remember
and then Rush Limpballs appeared and suddenly, my mum (my dad had died and shed been seeing an Air Force vet who obviously skewed her thinking) and siblings fell hard for the bullshit.
I moved to Florida (then blue) in like
89, and pretty much left my family behind at that point. So weird that people I grew up with so easily became strangers, except that I was always considered the odd one outintroverted, not superficial enough, whatever. I think I finally realized I mustve been a changeling when I was about 14. My folks came back from a trip to Arizona that my dad won at work and brought extravagant gifts for all of usand mine was simply a t-shirt that declared I act different because I AM different. Seriously? I was expecting turquoise jewelry, arrowheads, something not found in corn country
My siblings thought it was hysterical. Me? Not so much.
Good riddance, but I know intimately what its like to suddenly be cut off from what you thought was family. Im sure when its your child, its much more painful than just losing siblings or a mother whod lost her way. *sigh*
Biophilic
(6,780 posts)Keep in mind that parents have had to do this exact thing many, many times for the centuries. It doesn't make it easier, but hopefully you won't feel alone. Damn, so sorry.
progressoid
(53,550 posts)I have some family that are maga, but none that closely related. Heck a couple are even former Democrats (old school racist Democrats). So I don't discuss anything with them that is Trump related. Needless to say, we don't talk a lot. I'm hoping sanity returns at some point in the near future.
Hopefully he will find his way back too.
Melon
(1,875 posts)When my sons have a different view at the table than myself and are set in it, I tell them I hope you vote. Because that is America and the right they are afforded. They can have their own views, I just want them to use the rights.
Blue Full Moon
(3,778 posts)Anyone who supports Trump supports racism, sexism, pedophiles, rapist, murder, starving people especially children, concentration camps, denying medical care, theft, greed and more. My MAGA son and daughter in law cut off me and my husband for calling the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of Mexico. Finally came around. Not so trumpy. New slogan dumb as a trump.
travelingthrulife
(5,737 posts)SCantiGOP
(14,788 posts)hookaleft
(1,255 posts)This has to do with the five alarm fire that this country is facing. I have tried to show him evidence, he won't even look. How can someone be that blind.
I am deadly serious about the situation this country is in. With the unprecedented graft and corruption, the inhumanity of the policies, the absence of care about what Americans are going through. The abandonment of the Republican Senate to stand for ANYTHING! To help to stop it??
All of this is right in front of your face if you chose to look.
Melon
(1,875 posts)Its crazy to me to lose a son over politics. Its the wrong emphasis on life. Your son has exactly one vote. I hope he uses it. You vote your own way.
hookaleft
(1,255 posts)See ya then.
BunnyMcGee
(491 posts)no reply
niyad
(135,277 posts)plans to stay right where he is. And some people are so toxic that, regardless of their connection to us, they need not be in our lives.
Dan
(5,352 posts)Response to hookaleft (Reply #25)
Brenda This message was self-deleted by its author.
stopdiggin
(15,835 posts)white nationalist, "U.S. for Christians!", "women in the home!" - MAGA mind set .. ? Those 'views'?
You're still sitting down to break bread, pat heads, and encouraging these people to 'vote their views'?
Charming! You of course have to do you. But I myself peeled off from the 'family first', 'blood thicker than water' nonsense - around the 5th, perhaps 6th grade? Some people don't even approach deserving the honor (make that 'privilege') of 'family'.
Joinfortmill
(21,910 posts)This is voting fascist.
mdbl
(8,952 posts)I would just harass the crap out of him any time we talked so I know he would end up cutting me off. Do I care? Not really if he's that stupid. I would, however, feel like a failure for raising such a dope.
If they came back to me with that I would just totally stop communicating and shut them out totally, I would divorce my wife if she did that also
stopdiggin
(15,835 posts)( and one would assume core character .. ? )
Where exactly is the baseline for tolerance .. ? ( let alone respect ... )
Timewas
(2,805 posts)kacekwl
(9,306 posts)quite some time. I remember discussing politics around a campfire with him and my daughter once and I was stunned at the way he thought about trump. Since then we avoid politics talk. He has since moved to Costa Rica and has softened his views quite a bit. One of the reasons for his move was he said he hated the way people behaved in Montana where he was living. We're much better now. Good luck to you.
FoxNewsSucks
(11,997 posts)
I never did fit in. My "family" voted for an anti-gay marriage amendment in 2004. I couldn't continue faking belonging, or putting up with the hypocrisy. They voted that I and others like me are 2nd class non-humans. They voted for tRump.
Fuck them. Fuck anyone who votes that way and then expects the people who will be hurt and killed to pretend that's right. Fuck anyone who supports that.
We're not talking about different views on what to order at a restaurant table, we're talking about HUMAN FUCKING RIGHTS. And human DECENCY.
I can't imagine how callous anyone must be to suggest their so-called "right" to vote to hurt and kill others who are different overrides the differents' right to life, love and happiness.
maxsolomon
(39,396 posts)Last edited Tue Jun 23, 2026, 06:17 PM - Edit history (1)
Emails, particularly long ones, are pretty pointless. TL;DR is a real thing.
You shouldn't lose contact with your son. I've already seen it happen with my Brother-in-Law over the same issue. It's been 6 years they've gone without speaking. He feels very sad over it.
Christianity means nothing when it comes to politics.
Response to hookaleft (Original post)
Post removed
Biophilic
(6,780 posts)BannonsLiver
(21,019 posts)Im sure despite their best efforts. I would imagine that would be a crushing, sad disappointment for a parent. Maybe give them a bit of space before judging.
LymphocyteLover
(10,390 posts)She was devastated. A parent just has to wonder where they went wrong?
Permanut
(8,720 posts)stopdiggin
(15,835 posts)Melon
(1,875 posts)Thats unacceptable to me. Cutting a family relationship because someone has a different view or belief is not acceptable to me. Blood is thicker than water to me.
stopdiggin
(15,835 posts)between homosexual identity - and white nationalism, overt bigotry and racism (read KKK) - with the list going on?
If your son-in-law (or daughter) is marching through town with Nazi flags and paraphernalia .. ? It's all just 'forgive and forget'? 'Love and understanding', Eh ?
You obviously have your point of view, friend. But, I for one, think it is deeply flawed.
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Melon
(1,875 posts)My kids have a range of beliefs and I encourage them to vote. Im fine with allowing them to grow as individuals. I guide them but dont give ultimatums to follow my thinking. Per the election, more voted republican than democratic in the last election so they live among us. I live in the south and havent seen a waving southern flag in a decade and a swastika in longer than that. I lived in Georgia and saw a kkk rally 25 years ago. There had to be at least
..6, maybe 7 kkk guys. A few skinheads. And hundreds of protesters. I wasnt afraid of the kkk. I laughed. It showed how few there really are and how the vast majority appise their views.
If half the voters went republican, I dare say they at least look on the surface like us and behave for the most part
like us. They have different political beliefs. I wouldnt alienate a blood child because they dont follow my beliefs. You do what you will with your family.
stopdiggin
(15,835 posts)Last edited Wed Jun 24, 2026, 10:35 AM - Edit history (1)
And, sorry again - but if your 'kids' have developed any such beliefs ... They are absolutely not welcome - in my house (or 'family' ), my community, or in any gathering or social circle in which I participate.
The 'live and let live' principle - 'different political beliefs' - can only be extended so far.
And Nazis are to be opposed - not mollified and 'understood'.
Full stop.
(Oh - and if you don't think MAGA is chock-a-block full of all manner authoritarian, racist, nationalist, and other little nastiness and evils ... You've frankly had your head buried in the sand for quite a little while. You and I both hope this doesn't describe your 'kids'. But - if they're MAGA .... I'm really sorry .... )
Melon
(1,875 posts)That was my point. I fail to believe that half the country are Nazi or kkk or whatever you believe. Thats being afraid of everything that isnt your belief. Im not afraid of the dark. The kid has one vote. I guided my children through example. I would never throw them out of my life because they didnt conform to my thinking.
stopdiggin
(15,835 posts)And keeping the piece is a more important 'value' to you than any other standard of ethical or moral behavior.
In my own world order - someone whom has "voted for Trump 3x - and will do it again when hes on the ballot for a 3rd term in 2028." - is a toxic entity, both in my personal life and in the fabric of this country as a whole. This is NOT someone who just goes to a different church than I do. And (IMO) efforts to minimize and conflate it as such is bordering on delusion.
Regardless of how much you really want the 'kids' to keep visiting .... Doesn't change who they are. (and that is people with very questionable core values) ( People who take a look at Steven Miller and say, "Yeah! We really need more of that!" )
hookaleft
(1,255 posts)It is the fear of what has happened to our country. Our institutions have been decimated and corrupted. There are psycho murderers in charge of our military. There are christo-fascists praying over our "leader" and at golden statues erected in his name. Russell Vought is in charge of the OMB. There are failed real estate developers negotiating foreign policy. Bill Pulte has been installed at the DNI. They are colluding to corrupt the midterms. It is a fucking five alarm fire.
Manatee
(55 posts)of what's happening to our Country less now that you cut off your Son?
hookaleft
(1,255 posts)have a good day
BarbD
(1,534 posts)just ignores the reality of today. She won't talk to me and I find her indifference extremely difficult.
I believe it was Elie Wiesel who said "The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference."
Still, I wonder where did I go wrong. A very wise friend of mine once told me, "You can't live their lives for them".
bluestarone
(22,539 posts)I say it's LOVE of America is stronger than love for her son. I see who YOU are.
Manatee
(55 posts)definitely a problem. Family first...always.
bluestarone
(22,539 posts)Torchlight
(7,221 posts)Good luck. Great raft.
SheilaAnn
(10,824 posts)Ocelot II
(131,785 posts)if you wouldn't want a relationship with that person if they weren't family. Sometimes a family member is the sort of person one wouldn't want as a friend, and if that's the case nobody should be shamed into maintaining a relationship with that person. It's really none of anyone's business other than that of the people involved.
electric_blue68
(27,886 posts)It's complex.
sfdennis1
(57 posts)Some family relationships are abusive, or toxic, or violent or VERY harmful in some way. Plz dont family shame anyone else when you havent walked their path.
OP must do what is right for her and if she loved, raised, fed, and housed a child safely into adulthood
her job is done. Future reconciliation may be possible, and/or she may reconsider her decision but in MY OWN lived experience family first as a universal credo is toxic.
Celerity
(55,324 posts)stopdiggin
(15,835 posts)About two seconds of real examination to utterly destroy ....
pansypoo53219
(23,257 posts)WhatTheFlux
(55 posts)People can change, repent, and even atone. Even Tucker came to his senses (well, some of them).
calimary
(91,427 posts)Leave the door open a crack.
Be there for whenever that blissful day comes when he comes to his senses and you can rebuild your relationship.
Yeah, easy e nough to say, but maddeningly hard to try to live with (and live through).
DU is always here if you ever need a shoulder (or 300+ shoulders) to lean on.
(((((( * ))))))
Ars Longa
(653 posts)making/keeping him MAGA.
I would keep talking, (and listening) if possible.
It's good to have understanding.
Maybe he'll come to some self-awareness having to explain
this MAGA stuff out loud!
I hope this all can work out!
It's also good for you to reach out on this board.
Pas-de-Calais
(10,300 posts)Love her, and her I. We just dont discuss politics.
She went off on Biden one Sunday. Wife & I just looked at one another.
multigraincracker
(38,296 posts)Have to find out their politics first. Its a shame.
Lucky I only have one relative and his politics is to the left. In-laws, most but not all. Has informed the crazy ones we dont talk politics with them.
When I was 11 years old I decided not to have children. Stuck to it. One benefit is that my carbon footprint ends with me. I do enjoy and love most of my step family. That helps.
Blaukraut
(6,009 posts)Its just that you dont engage. Why dont you have a mutual understanding that neither of you gets to talk about politics? Seems a little unfair that youre the only on who is bound by the no politics rule.
WhiskeyGrinder
(27,357 posts)TNNurse
(7,562 posts)Joinfortmill
(21,910 posts)ananda
(35,797 posts)I have had nothing to do with my magat
relatives for years.
My sisters still stay in contact with them,
but I just couldn't take the racism and
homophoboia and devotion to wealth
any more.
calimary
(91,427 posts)Don't know what else to say except that WE are here whenever you need to vent.
Chicagogrl1
(682 posts)Hoping he comes around. Unfortunately, it has to directly affect them for them to get it. Sending you really big hugs.
OMGWTF
(5,278 posts)At least that's what I think because she became hardcore MAGA and wanted to have dinner at T💩p Tower when we met in Chicago, but I told her, "No." That was the last time we spoke.
electric_blue68
(27,886 posts)PittBlue
(4,875 posts)I can only imagine how painful this is for you. I hope that he eventually sees the light it is hard to believe how the monster gets into peoples heads. Sending you love and peace.💙
CousinIT
(12,888 posts). . .but having to cut off your kid is a whole other level.
I'm so sorry this has happened to your family. He is in a cult. I don't know what to tell you about how to even deal with that - if I knew, I'd try to get my family out of it!
I totally understand though!
badhair77
(5,237 posts)I totally get it but its a difficult situation. I hope you can find some common ground at some point and find some peace between the two of you. trumpism is a horrible state of mind and benefits no one but the man himself.
The Wizard
(13,937 posts)dividing families since 1996.
radical noodle
(10,740 posts)We think we know someone so well and then get the jarring news that they're not who we thought they were. It's hard not to respond with shock and dismay. Magas are regularly demonized here and it's true that many of them have no redeeming qualities, but he's your son and you obviously do love him or this would not have hurt you so badly.
You are not alone. There are those who have cut ties to their children and even reduced their inheritance. There are adults who have broken with parents who are maga and no longer talk to them. Most of us have probably lost someone (friend or relative) to this maga cult, I know I have. Some suggest just not talking about it, but I've found that to be unhelpful if you already know where they stand. It's like living on a different planet from them, as they seem to have been brainwashed by propaganda. Still you may find that you and he can find a way to still be parent and son and have this wide gap in your political beliefs.
I hope your broken heart can mend and you will find a way through this.
MorbidButterflyTat
(4,951 posts)GenThePerservering
(4,072 posts)We lost my cousin and her husband to MAGA - my family is very accepting of differences and were willing to overlook that...but then the inevitable happened...they started stealing from one of the family businesses. That was it. If ever they offer an olive branch (or even some recognition of wrong doing), it will be accepted.
Things are in so much flux right now, I think a lot of magats are just frightened and need those authoritarian apron strings to cling to.
TheProle
(4,201 posts)No judgment here, but not the route I would go.
You and your child made choices. Now you have to live with them.
BTW, ever heard the one about the young Democrat who disowned his dad for supporting Nixon? They reconciled 10 years later in line to vote for Reagan.
niyad
(135,277 posts)please know that you are suppported and loved here.
hugggggs
FarPoint
(15,016 posts)First off, BIG HUG....(((HUG)))
I don't see 47 having a pulse for much longer....say 6 months ...multiple chronic illness issues are taking a toll on him....We are not told the truth regarding health as we have with previous office holders.....
I suggest not confront son...talk about anything but politics....soon, say in 2027 he will come to you about thoughts on political issues....the truth will be on the table then....
Turbineguy
(40,284 posts)if you cut off close relatives.
The Grand Illuminist
(2,101 posts)for the greater good.
stopdiggin
(15,835 posts)companions. A 'relationship' with a toxic and destructive person - is not an asset.
relayerbob
(7,459 posts)But he is no Christian
Mariana
(15,632 posts)bamagal62
(4,655 posts)I had to cut ties with one of my very best friends.
Its heartbreaking. But, I couldnt ignore the racism any longer. Im not sure what I would do if it were my son or daughter. My heart goes out to you.
BeneteauBum
(946 posts)All I can say is keep standing up for your values. When I hear individuals espouse hatred, bigotry, or support for violence, I immediately call it out. I dont care how these people react to my verbal intervention, I will not stand by wringing my hands. You are right confronting a family member if you witness detrimental verbalizing towards others.
If your son wants to vote for tRump, so be it. He is exercising his right. However, I cant agree with disowning him. Please keep the avenue of communication open even if it is your unidirectional pleas to be more compassionate towards others. This situation will not last forever.
Peace ☮️
LatteLady
(102 posts)I have let go of my older brother and a few former friends. Its sad and hard. But I feel honest and authentic at least.
You cannot change emotions with logic. Its a cult.
Chi67
(1,292 posts)But you did the right thing. MAGAs will not change. Even when Trump is gone, they will still be the same. Even those who left MAGA have said as much. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Soul_of_Wit
(199 posts)And it is a great loss. Your son does not value the fundamentals of the American way of life. Anyone saying this is about politics is conflating MAGA with a random Republican. Personally, I have never called a before-times Republican un-American. All MAGA are un-American.
MustLoveBeagles
(18,281 posts)Cha
(321,511 posts)Christians would want PEDO in charge of anything much less our country. ☮️🕊️💙🌊🌈
Cha
(321,511 posts)Christians would want PEDO in charge of anything much less our country. ☮️🕊️💙🌊🌈
anciano
(2,339 posts)and have found it to be a wonderful concept.
Best wishes 🙏
SusieCreamcheese
(58 posts)My situation is similar to yours, but mine involves an estranged younger MAGA sister
I'm attending a support group tonight via Zoom at 7pm EST, offered by the "Leaving MAGA" website. They meet every Tuesday. Here's a description of their focus.
Many people impacted by a loved one involved in MAGA and extremist politics find their lives reshaped by conflict, avoidance, emotional strain, and other distorted relational dynamics. For some, the impact is explosive. For others, its corrosive and ongoing: walking on eggshells, managing someone elses emotional volatility, losing clarity, authority, or peace in their own lives.
Solutions & Serenity is a facilitated support group for people living with that reality.
If you are interested, here's a link to information about the meeting. No charge.
Support Group - Leaving MAGA (https://leavingmaga.org/support-group/)
MorbidButterflyTat
(4,951 posts)I know it's not easy.
Bluestocking
(876 posts)What you did is tough love. How many parents have had to kick their drug addicted child out so they can reach bottom and make their way back through recovery. Its not okay to let hatred and harm come to others because that is the easy way to deal with things.
Your son is supporting horrible people and horrible things are being perpetrated on others. All of us need to do whatever it takes to end this, even if it means cutting off a child.
The Grand Illuminist
(2,101 posts)nt
SusieCreamcheese
(58 posts)Do you suppose family members of Hitler supporters enabled them by remaining silent? I once saw a documentary about the adult children of notorious Nazis who are still in therapy after all these years. Politics most assuredly can split families apart. Look at the Civil War.
HowlingWulf
(590 posts)Mysterian
(6,731 posts)My brother became a dittohead back in the day and I remember several times he went storming out of family gatherings after some mild political discussion. These so-called conservatives are so angry because the right-wing propaganda liars tell them to be angry. My brother became more reasonable and I hope your son does too.
Evolve Dammit
(21,848 posts)Warpy
(114,758 posts)whenever he mentions politisby telling him you don't want to talk about any of that crap and then change the suject quickly to something that interests you both. You can't mention politics, either.
It's called an armed truced and until and unless he smartens up, this is the best you can expect.
Trueblue Texan
(4,708 posts)So sorry Hookaleft!
JoseBalow
(9,896 posts)I'm sorry for your loss.
Luciferous
(6,629 posts)claimed that Sandy Hook was a hoax, so I know how hard it can be. I'm sorry you're going through this.
OldBaldy1701E
(11,788 posts)Shellback Squid
(10,229 posts)Vogon_Glory
(10,422 posts)your profound political differences.
I have several right-leaning relatives. I'm still on speaking terms with them, but we can't talk about politics.
I suppose that I could bombard them with articles and computer links detailing the iniquities of the current administration and its political enablers, but I'm resigned to the fact that they probably won't read them, let alone believe them.
I'm not happy about it.
As that Bible some of them read but many of them choose to ignore states : "There are none who are so blind as they who will not see," and members of the Religious Right, particularly Evangelical Protestants, aren't willing to perform reality checks on whether their avatar (s) are performing good deeds or living righteously.
I am unhappily resigned to the fact that when it comes to Orange Julius and his fan clubs and enablers, I probably won't be the one to wise them up. They aren't going to listen and they don't want to hear it from me. If they wise up, they are going to have to learn the hard way when their hero and his political allies tear massive holes in the social safety nets they unwisely chose to trust to their care. And I believe that Incumbent will try. Judas Iscariot has nothing on the narcissistic, amoral, corrupt individual currently ensconced in the White House.
I suspect that many of what's-his-name's followers will never admit that they were mislead or were wrong. I do hold out hope that some, like the Prodigal Son in the New Testament, will wake up someday and notice that they'd gone on a bender and are in deep trouble. Not only that, that it wasn't the "libs," it wasn't Joe Biden, it wasn't Hillary Clinton, it wasn't George Soros, but it was the galaxy of scammers, charlatans and liars who deceived them and that they'd been fools to trust them.
I woulld close with this caveat: wising up after a spree is usually an inside job.
Ilsa
(64,731 posts)protect your sanity and health. It's not about "who they voted for," it's about about choices they make because their values are so different from yours.
AllaN01Bear
(30,093 posts)FascismIsDeath
(311 posts)And we haven't. We still have a relationship. Same with a friend I've had since high school. We are still friends because I said its best we don't discuss politics.
I think at this point, the breaking point has hit a few of them and they aren't into it anymore... but again, we aren't really discussing it so I can only go off of a few clues that allude to that.
For me, this is the right approach and its worked. I don't think we should let someone like Trump and his uncanny ability to brainwash certain people win. Life is too short for that.
lindalou65
(397 posts)First, my heart goes out to you. We are going through difficult and scary times right now. I don't understand how anyone could support Trump but I have relatives and friends who do. I haven't cut them off but I keep my distance. I do have a grandson who claimed he was voting for Trump but now he hates him; however, my grandson has become a white supremacist---thinks the USA should keep the white culture protected from other cultures/races. We have had many discussions and he won't give up trying to convince me that he is right. I have not cut him off but I keep my distance. I love him and keep hoping he will see things differently in time.
He was living with my husband and I for a while until we absolutely couldn't take it anymore and told him he had to move out. He is about an hour away so we don't have to interact very often.
I wish the best for you and all of us who see the dangers of the Trump regime.
electric_blue68
(27,886 posts)After reading the replies my current thought...
is keeping a barely open crack in the door.
Maybe brief contact every few months? Telling him no politics? If he starts up again, and it's too painful you "go away" again.
The spew of racism, sexism, hatred of POC immigrants etc is so toxic; I get it!
no_hypocrisy
(55,705 posts)be candid with him about your thoughts and feelings.
I'm sorry for your distress, but it would have been magnified if you had continued to engage with your son.
Be The Light
(166 posts)He will have to figure it out for himself. That's just how it works. As soon as trump does something that effects him financially or otherwise he will only then begin to look at reality.
FullySupportDems
(519 posts)I can relate to your feelings, and I'm so sorry. My mother is maga, and it's SO hard not to snap at her. With her age and health, I can't walk away. I tell you what, it really makes me second guess everything I thought I knew.
I wanted to add the thought that if we replace the word Maga with the word Nazi or KKK, your feelings won't seem so extreme. And it reminds me of what they said about the Civil War, that it divided families, brother against brother. It seems like that's where we're going. Or at least that's what Maga wants.
Tree Lady
(13,431 posts)She makes good money and just wants tax cuts, but she also pays high taxes living in CA.
She is the child I am the closest to because we hike, do yoga, wine taste and more together. We just dont mention him ever. She told me the other day she doesnt like him didnt vote for him voted R.
Rest of family are democrats.
To me its not worth losing my daughter over.
I bet a lot of republicans feel that way.
Hopefully your son will wake up one day. My daughter used to be Democrat until current boyfriend and other managers at work got to her.
Bettie
(19,989 posts)I understand why you had to do it, but it still is heartbreaking.
mgardener
(2,438 posts)I had to cut ties with a beloved cousin due to COVID / Trump.
Refused to get vaccinated because ya know , but was heavy smoker and 70 +
He developed Covid, they discovered lung cancer and he died quickly.
Never had a chance to reconcile.
I don't know if we would have, but would have liked the chance to tell him how much I appreciated him when we were young.
That said.
I wonder what it was like in Nazi Germany and families. When those who could clearly see who Hitler was and what he was doing and those who supported him.
I'm sure many families were torn apart.
That said, I think we have to choose between good and evil.
I see evil when I look at Trump.
ecstatic
(35,155 posts)I definitely understand your feelings. I get very very angry with maggas. However, if this is your son you probably will have to deal with him one way or another.
When the smoke clears a little, apologize, but try to slip him the information in more subtle ways going forward.
Do not allow him to trigger you!
Seeking Serenity
(3,352 posts)But before anyone gets his hopes up, he gave up on Trump and MAGA over Israel and the Iran War, and his view that Trump isn't doing enough to "clean out the institutions" (to "reverse Gramsci" the institutions as he puts it), "draining the swamp," etc. He says we need "more arrests" and things like that (I think what he saw as Pam Bondi's "not doing enough" is what started the sour taste).
He says what the country needs is a "great man of history," and that Trumps not it. I asked him to name some examples of who he's thinking about, and he said people like Alexander the Great, Augustus, George Washington, Napoleon, and Buekele in El Salvador. (He does say that he wishes Trump was what Redditors fear he is.)
I let it go because 1) I love my baby, 2) I know what he wants isn't ever going to happen here and that it's him just blowing off steam, and 3) frankly, I depend on him. I don't know what I'd do without him.
But at least he's not talking about a Trump 3rd term.
Polybius
(22,286 posts)If I even suspect that someone is on the other side, I talk about other things. Maybe sports, the weather, movies, games, astronomy, etc. There are so many non-controversial things to talk about. I wouldn't like it if someone sent me Republican links, would you?
kimbutgar
(27,705 posts)Raine
(31,264 posts)No sense in discussing politics, plenty of other things to talk about. What's important is we all love each other
we would never let Trump drive a wedge between us.
hueymahl
(2,908 posts)Don't let Trump or politics in general cause a rift in the family. Family is more important.
Ocelot II
(131,785 posts)TheProle
(4,201 posts)Trump has cost us faith in elections, trust in the press, our sense of safety. Ill be goddamned if hes going to cost me my relationship with my child.
blubunyip
(318 posts)that's the best you can do for him right now. You did what's right for you. Trying to re-educate him is useless and makes it worse. He knows how much you disagree with his views, how strongly you feel, but his brain's been hijacked. He's joined the Cult, for whatever reason, and there's nothing to do but accept that for now. I'd say the ball is in his court. Don't push. Don't try to heal anything or crowd him, or make challenging statements or ultimatums. The time has come to simply wait. patiently, quietly. Wait for him to come out of his delusion and change course. There's every chance that he will wake up one day and reconciling may be possible. Allow space for that. A support group is a good idea.
That's my advice. Know that you are not alone. Thanks for your post.
dawn5651
(827 posts)parent. there is hope that he will see the light at some point and realize what this administration is doing to women, children, and those on social security and disability. i have a friend who has been firmly in the maga column she sent me a message telling me that she was beginning to think that there was something really wrong with krasnov and that she wasn't a supporter anymore...so there is hope for your son ....
hamsterjill
(17,942 posts)I understand completely. It's unfortunate when it happens, but sometimes the differences are simply too much to be able to have any kind of relationship.
I keep hoping that many of these people will come to their senses, but it hasn't happened with some of my family members yet.
58Sunliner
(6,459 posts)HeartsCanHope
(1,794 posts)So many of us have had to go no contact over MAGA. You will be in my thoughts.
summer_in_TX
(4,359 posts)Both of my adult sons voted for Trump more than once and I've been struggling with it for a long time. We barely talk about politics. Each has five children though and that gives me extra reasons to keep the connection. I have hope that my husband and I can help influence them as they grow up.
Not all MAGAs are the same, I think. Neither of my sons is mean or rubbing things in others' faces. Both are bright, educated, hard-working, kind, polite, helpful, loving, very good dads and sons. One took it as a matter of faith that God's hand was on Trump when he survived the assassination attempt. (Barf.) He's been thoroughly conned.
The older one though has become very disillusioned with Trump's lies and wars, thank God. But he's not very willing to have a full conversation. I suspect he could tell that I couldn't stand some of those he admired, like Alex Jones.
My younger one and I are corresponding, or have been. Haven't heard back from him on what I sent him about a week ago. I don't expect to change his views but perhaps he'll listen to a few things and mull those over.
hunter
(40,940 posts)Imagine a little old bag lady, her voice gravely from decades of smoking and cheap bourbon...
Here it goes:
When it comes time to kill Nazis again I know where you live...
That would be followed by a stare that could kill a man.
I come from a family that sticks together but sometimes it can be terrifying.
Growing up I never had the sense that religion and politics were off the table for the sake of keeping the peace. I can't say much has changed.
I usually write here from the perspective of a radical environmentalist and Social Justice Catholic heretic. I guess I'm blessed to get along well with my children, my siblings and my children's cousins. But it's not always without fire.
Aussie105
(8,338 posts)Nice word, that. Perversity.
"perverse
adjective
Contrary to what is right or good; wicked or depraved.
a perverse world of sinners.
Characterized by or resulting from willful opposition or resistance to what is right, expected, or reasonable.
Willfully opposing or resisting what is right, expected, or reasonable.
an understanding of the text that only a perverse reader could reach."
Sad, but at least now you know.
Don't try to understand it.
KT2000
(22,275 posts)she told me how her heart was broken over the fact that her son was MAGA. She went through a lot in her life and she took it in her stride. She was pretty stoic about most things until she learned this about her son. She was hurt to her core. She died soon after so we never got to discuss it in detail.
Her son subsequently cut me out of his life. He was spreading lies online about Obama so I sent him some facts for him to consider. That was it.
LymphocyteLover
(10,390 posts)Blaukraut
(6,009 posts)Of an eventual reconciliation. If you cut him out of your life in the hope that your decision might jolt him into regaining his senses, that might not happen. People who are in the MAGA cult will either come out of it on their own or with lots of deprogramming.
Generally, any threats or opposition makes them double down, as your son already indicated by stating he would vote for Trump again.
NNadir
(38,846 posts)Some were killed fighting for the Confederacy; one of the widows of a Confederate general killed in the war, Mary Lincoln's sister, came to stay in the White House, creating something of a scandal for the Lincolns.
Personally, I have a brother I've disowned, not for politics but for other things. He may or may not be dead; I wouldn't know. I would expect he'd be a Magat, but again, I wouldn't know.
My father by contrast never disowned me for my politics. I miss fighting with him though; he's been gone now 33 years. He was right wing. We fought fairly bitterly over Nixon, but I never stopped loving him.
It's tough. Maybe your family will heal. This is definitely the most divisive time since the Civil War.
Condolences are in order. I feel for you.
orangecrush
(31,819 posts)People change and grow.
I would leave the door open.
azureblue
(2,772 posts)Matthew 25: 41 - 46, --- Jesus speaks ----
41 Then he will say to those on his left, Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.
42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink,
43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.
44 They also will answer, Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?
45 He will reply, Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.
46 Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.
and ask him why this does not square with Trump's actions.
Remind him of the Beatitudes, too..
then can can Follow with ---------
These are the laws of Leviticus and no one sin is greater than another - do you obey all the laws?
76 things banned in Leviticus
1. Burning any yeast or honey in offerings to God (2:11)
2. Failing to include salt in offerings to God (2:13)
3. Eating fat (3:17)
4. Eating blood (3:17)
5. Failing to testify against any wrongdoing youve witnessed (5:1)
6. Failing to testify against any wrongdoing youve been told about (5:1)
7. Touching an unclean animal (5:2)
8. Carelessly making an oath (5:4)
9. Deceiving a neighbor about something trusted to them (6:2)
10. Finding lost property and lying about it (6:3)
11. Bringing unauthorized fire before God (10:1)
12. Letting your hair become unkempt (10:6)
13. Tearing your clothes (10:6)
14. Drinking alcohol in holy places (10)
15. Eating an animal which doesnt both chew cud and has a divided hoof (cf: camel, rabbit, pig) (11:4-7)
16. Touching the carcass of any of the above (11:8)
17. Eating or touching the carcass of any seafood without fins or scales (11:10-12)
18. Eating or touching the carcass of - eagle, the vulture, the black vulture, the red kite, any kind of black kite, any kind of raven, the horned owl, the screech owl, the gull, any kind of hawk, the little owl, the cormorant, the great owl, the white owl, the desert owl, the osprey, the stork, any kind of heron, the hoopoe and the bat. (11:13-19)
19. Eating or touching the carcass of flying insects with four legs, unless those legs are jointed (11:20-22)
20. Eating any animal which walks on all four and has paws (good news for cats) (11:27)
21. Eating or touching the carcass of the weasel, the rat, any kind of great lizard, the gecko, the monitor lizard, the wall lizard, the skink and the chameleon (11:29)
22. Eating or touching the carcass of any creature which crawls on many legs, or its belly (11:41-42)
23. Going to church within 33 days after giving birth to a boy (12:4)
24. Going to church within 66 days after giving birth to a girl (12:5)
25. Having sex with your mother (18)
26. Having sex with your fathers wife (18:8)
27. Having sex with your sister (18)
28. Having sex with your granddaughter (18:10)
29. Having sex with your half-sister (18:11)
30. Having sex with your biological aunt (18:12-13)
31. Having sex with your uncles wife (18:14)
32. Having sex with your daughter-in-law (18:15)
33. Having sex with your sister-in-law (18:16)
34. Having sex with a woman and also having sex with her daughter or granddaughter (18:17)
35. Marrying your wifes sister while your wife still lives (18:18)
36. Having sex with a woman during her period (18:19)
37. Having sex with your neighbors wife (18:20)
38. Giving your children to be sacrificed to Molek (18:21)
39. Having sex with a man as one does with a woman (18:22)
40. Having sex with an animal (18:23)
41. Making idols or metal gods (19:4)
42. Reaping to the very edges of a field (19)
43. Picking up grapes that have fallen in your vineyard (19:10)
44. Stealing (19:11)
45. Lying (19:11)
46. Swearing falsely on Gods name (19:12)
47. Defrauding your neighbor (19:13)
48. Holding back the wages of an employee overnight (19:13)
49. Cursing the deaf or abusing the blind (19:14)
50. Perverting justice, showing partiality to either the poor or the rich (19:15)
51. Spreading slander (19:16)
52. Doing anything to endanger a neighbors life (19:16)
53. Seeking revenge or bearing a grudge (19:18)
54. Mixing fabrics in clothing (19:19)
55. Cross-breeding animals (19:19)
56. Planting different seeds in the same field (19:19)
57. Sleeping with another mans slave (19:20)
58. Eating fruit from a tree within four years of planting it (19:23)
59. Practicing divination or seeking omens (tut, tut astrology) (19:26)
60. Trimming your beard (19:27)
61. Cutting your hair at the sides (19:27)
62. Getting tattoos (19:28)
63. Making your daughter prostitute herself (19:29)
64. Turning to mediums or spiritualists (19:31)
65. Not standing in the presence of the elderly (19:32)
66. Mistreating foreigners the foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born (19:33-34)
67. Using dishonest weights and scales (19:35-36)
68. Cursing your father or mother (punishable by death) (20)
69. Marrying a prostitute, divorcee or widow if you are a priest (21,13)
70. Entering a place where theres a dead body as a priest (21:11)
71. Slaughtering a cow/sheep and its young on the same day (22:28)
72. Working on the Sabbath (23:3)
73. Blasphemy (punishable by stoning to death) (24:14)
74. Inflicting an injury; killing someone elses animal; killing a person must be punished in kind (24:17-22)
75. Selling land permanently (25:23)
76. Selling an Israelite as a slave (foreigners are fine) (25:42)
mainer
(12,637 posts)It's hard enough to cut off MAGA parents. But to cut off our children is a thousand times harder.
It's all about the milieu he's living in. If he's surrounded by MAGA, it will change his attitude and his way of thinking. Stupidity is contagious.
eppur_se_muova
(42,901 posts)I had a really bad relationship with my father, as did all his family. We are constantly told to love and respect our parents, but when a parent goes out of his way to show his dislike and disrespect for all people -- no exception for relatives by blood or marriage -- you quickly realize that a blind, unthinking respect just because someone is related to you is not justified, not at all.
(Fortunately, he never went MAGA He knew Trmp was a crook, but had nothing good to say about most politicians, as if they were all the same. He was more of a simplistic anarchist than anything.)
One thing you need to start thinking about now is your will. Leave some money to charitable organizations, and to Dems, favorite nieces/nephews/cousins/siblings if you feel so inclined. How much is left over for your son after the non-MAGAs get their cut is up to you, but you ought to let him know that.
Supporting Trmp cannot be let pass without consequences.
returnee
(1,009 posts)as I do for psychiatric patients with delusions, and those with personality disorders, being among the hardest of psychiatric illnesses to treat. I feel your pain.
BootinUp
(51,770 posts)duckworth969
(1,448 posts)Now shes MAGA.
Her ma and stepdad are diehard evangelicals.
I guess she wanted to be down with them, back in the fold as it were.
markpkessinger
(8,946 posts). . . that sister is 75 years old, and not in great health. But about 10 years ago, she went deep into Q-Anon garbage, and remains there still. She has alienated all of her former friends, as well as me and our other siblings (including some who still support Trump). I haven't completely cut her off, but I have made it clear that I have no interest in listening to her endless conspiracy theories and half-baked ideas!
MW67
(228 posts)Every one of them, you can't support what they support without being a liar .Who they are most proficient at lying too, is themselves. If you can't tell yourself the truth there is no way you can be a friend to yourself or anyone else. Just admit the truth and we are on level again. But they won't, so what is one to do ?Allow them to continue lying and accept this behavior, or shut them down, I've never accepted lying before and not starting now