MAGA Demands Proof Mitch McConnell Is Alive as His Office Stonewalls

[generalbetrayus]

Source: The New Republic

MAGA world is not satisfied with the excuses from Senator Mitch McConnell’s office over his sudden disappearance, and are now demanding proof that the former Senate majority leader is still alive.

-snip-

But rumors about McConnell’s health spiked late Monday, when far-right influencer Laura Loomer claimed on X that an unnamed “high level source close to the White House” told her that “Mitch McConnell is officially brain dead.” In a separate post, Loomer elaborated that “McConnell is in organ failure,” and that the White House had been told “McConnell isn’t ever coming back.”

Shortly afterward, the reporter that first broke the story about McConnell’s cardiac arrest—Desirée Townsend—said that her sources had shared the same information.

By Tuesday morning, a slew of MAGA-aligned figures were demanding answers from McConnell’s office.

Read more: https://newrepublic.com/post/212755/maga-proof-mitch-mcconnell-alive

[Ocelot II]

1. Maybe a photo of him sitting up, eyes open, holding today's New York Times?

Kind of like one of those ransom messages?

[The Roux Comes First]

2. Hysterical! They Seem to Be Insisting on Proof of "Life"; Most of Us Would Be Thrilled

To come upon even a hint of human quality amongst the maggots.

[LudwigPastorius]

3. Too late.

He's rung down the curtain and joined the choir infernal.

[dave99]

4. Choir ? He'd never get that high in the loop

[Bengus81]

5. ROFLMAO!! So MAGA'S just figured out their party is one big CON JOB??

Welcome to the show that never ends idiots..............

[QueerDuck]

6. "What do you call this? Bed-curtains?"

"I wish it was a little heavier judgment, and it should have been, you may depend upon it, if I could have laid my hands on anything else. Open that bundle, old Joe, and let me know the value of it. Speak out plain. I'm not afraid to be the first, nor afraid for them to see it."

Joe went down on his knees for the greater convenience of opening the bundle, and dragged out a large and heavy roll of some dark stuff.

"What do you call this? Bed-curtains!"

"Ah! Bed-curtains! Don't drop that oil upon the blankets, now."

"His blankets?"

"Whose else's do you think? He isn't likely to take cold without 'em. I dare say. Ah! You may look through that shirt till your eyes ache; but you won't find a hole in it, nor a threadbare place. It's the best he had, and a fine one too. They'd have wasted it by dressing him up in it, if it hadn't been for me."

Scrooge listened to this dialogue in horror.

https://www.charlesdickenspage.com/carol-dickens-reading-text.html

[Wonder Why]

7. Breaking News Report - July 7, 2036. Mitch McConnell's handlers finally decided they can no longer keep him

"technically alive" since most of his body rotted away after he was declared brain dead 10 years ago. In those 10 years, he voted remotely for every repug bill and was re-elected again and again by his MAGA followers who voted based on replays of his old speeches. "After his heart was eaten by the other kind of MAGAts, there was no way to force it to keep pumping blood" said King Cheeto II, son of Cheeto Pedo. Between counting his trillions, he sad "Mitch had a big heart. That's how we kept him alive - it took 10 years to be eaten".