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The Borowitz Report: A Wedding Gift for Don Jr.
Link: https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/the-love-poems-of-kimberly-guilfoyle-757
(Today's TBR Sunday Read is for paid subscribers only)
Donald Trump wasn’t the only person who skipped his son’s wedding this weekend. Also absent was Don Jr.’s former fiancée, Kimberly Guilfoyle, now the US ambassador to Greece.
You might remember Guilfoyle as the woman who spoke at the 2020 Republican National Convention and shattered the nation’s stemware. But there’s another side to Kim—a sensitive, vulnerable side—that emerges in her private poetry journal.
In this series of haikus, Kim tells the epic story of her romance with Don Jr. in all its phases: first bloom, full flowering, and heartbreaking decay. Is it better, as Tennyson wrote, to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? Read Kim’s poems and decide for yourself.
Someday I will be
Mrs. Donald Trump Jr
Wedding live on Fox
Still Don’s fiancée
It’s been many summers now
Patience, Kim, patience
Googled Don Jr.
Who’s that girl he’s cuddling with
We’re at DEFCON 2
Pick up, Don, pick up
Every time I call you
Goes straight to voicemail
There is an upside
Melania won’t be my
Stepmother-in-law
Greek ambassador?
Consolation prize, I guess
But I hate gyros
- more at link -
You might remember Guilfoyle as the woman who spoke at the 2020 Republican National Convention and shattered the nation’s stemware. But there’s another side to Kim—a sensitive, vulnerable side—that emerges in her private poetry journal.
In this series of haikus, Kim tells the epic story of her romance with Don Jr. in all its phases: first bloom, full flowering, and heartbreaking decay. Is it better, as Tennyson wrote, to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? Read Kim’s poems and decide for yourself.
Someday I will be
Mrs. Donald Trump Jr
Wedding live on Fox
Still Don’s fiancée
It’s been many summers now
Patience, Kim, patience
Googled Don Jr.
Who’s that girl he’s cuddling with
We’re at DEFCON 2
Pick up, Don, pick up
Every time I call you
Goes straight to voicemail
There is an upside
Melania won’t be my
Stepmother-in-law
Greek ambassador?
Consolation prize, I guess
But I hate gyros
Poor Kimberly ... we all knew he would dump her as soon as we saw her shameless groveling at the RNC Convention.
I guess she was the last the know? Maybe getting an Ambassadorship isn't such a bad consolation prize after all.
5 replies
= new reply since forum marked as read
= new reply since forum marked as read
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bettina_Anderson
She has been working as a model and also she does philanthropy through her own foundation. I don't know much about her, except that she's 39 and has a BA from Columbia University in NYC. According to the newspapers they have only known each other for a little over a year, and they became engaged last winter.
She has been working as a model and also she does philanthropy through her own foundation. I don't know much about her, except that she's 39 and has a BA from Columbia University in NYC. According to the newspapers they have only known each other for a little over a year, and they became engaged last winter.
