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How To Be a New Englander
From driving in the snow to underdressing like a pro, a native’s guide to the life skills, social graces, design gambits, revenge tactics, name-dropping stratagems, casseroles, idioms, boat knots, and decapod-crustacean hacks every New Englander should master.
KNOW YOUR SHADES OF BLUE STATE
As any Democratic strategist will tell you, the region’s swath of left-leaning politics is far more variegated than the monochromatic blue the country at large sees. Here, a guide to the many faces of Boston’s liberalism. —W.L.
The Blood-Blue Liberal: Invented the “to whom much is given, much is expected” ethos. Prep school and Ivy grad. Money so old that no one recalls where it’s from. Hosts fundraisers with high alcohol-to-hors d’oeuvres ratio. Natural Habitat: Brattle Street, the Boston Athenaeum. Patron Saint: William Bradford. As Seen in: The Collected Works of John Cheever.
The Terror of the Town Meeting: Highly educated intellectual and the most feared zoning-board enforcer west of the Charles. A crusader for public education; sent children to private school. Natural Habitat: Brookline. Patron Saint: Michael Dukakis. As Seen In: Brookline Access Television.
The Brotherhood of Local…: Held a sign at the polls prior to learning to walk. Waxes poetic about his dad’s days in the IBEW. Politics driven by employment, a.k.a. “getting his brother’s kid a job driving a snowplow over at Massport.” Natural Habitat: “Hanover now, but Codman Square really.” Patron Saint: Billy Bulger. As Seen in: Mystic River.
The Spiritual, not Religious: Listens to NPR and MSNBC; quotes voraciously as her own opinions. “Very open-minded” and drawn nearly exclusively to people who share her views. Yoga practice “saved her life” after the divorce. Never been to Chick-fil-A, but boycotting until they support same-sex marriage. Natural Habitat: Brattleboro. Patron Saint: Rachel Maddow. As Seen in: Eat Pray Love.
The Massachusetts Republican: Considered by most of the country to be a Democrat, and by Alabama and Wyoming to be ACLU. Spends time bashing Obama’s anti-business crusade, while apologizing for the national party’s social agenda. Natural Habitat: Concord/Hingham. Patron Saint: Bill Weld. As Seen in: Flomax and Cialis ads.
As any Democratic strategist will tell you, the region’s swath of left-leaning politics is far more variegated than the monochromatic blue the country at large sees. Here, a guide to the many faces of Boston’s liberalism. —W.L.
The Blood-Blue Liberal: Invented the “to whom much is given, much is expected” ethos. Prep school and Ivy grad. Money so old that no one recalls where it’s from. Hosts fundraisers with high alcohol-to-hors d’oeuvres ratio. Natural Habitat: Brattle Street, the Boston Athenaeum. Patron Saint: William Bradford. As Seen in: The Collected Works of John Cheever.
The Terror of the Town Meeting: Highly educated intellectual and the most feared zoning-board enforcer west of the Charles. A crusader for public education; sent children to private school. Natural Habitat: Brookline. Patron Saint: Michael Dukakis. As Seen In: Brookline Access Television.
The Brotherhood of Local…: Held a sign at the polls prior to learning to walk. Waxes poetic about his dad’s days in the IBEW. Politics driven by employment, a.k.a. “getting his brother’s kid a job driving a snowplow over at Massport.” Natural Habitat: “Hanover now, but Codman Square really.” Patron Saint: Billy Bulger. As Seen in: Mystic River.
The Spiritual, not Religious: Listens to NPR and MSNBC; quotes voraciously as her own opinions. “Very open-minded” and drawn nearly exclusively to people who share her views. Yoga practice “saved her life” after the divorce. Never been to Chick-fil-A, but boycotting until they support same-sex marriage. Natural Habitat: Brattleboro. Patron Saint: Rachel Maddow. As Seen in: Eat Pray Love.
The Massachusetts Republican: Considered by most of the country to be a Democrat, and by Alabama and Wyoming to be ACLU. Spends time bashing Obama’s anti-business crusade, while apologizing for the national party’s social agenda. Natural Habitat: Concord/Hingham. Patron Saint: Bill Weld. As Seen in: Flomax and Cialis ads.
More at link:
http://www.bostonmagazine.com/arts-entertainment/article/2014/10/28/how-to-be-a-new-englander/5/
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