So let's review what Americans put in their orifices...

[krispos42]

... that turned out to be a bad idea.

https://adequateman.deadspin.com/what-did-we-get-stuck-in-our-rectums-last-year-1831046610?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark

A 3M Command Strip hook?

A domino???

How the hell do you get those into a penis?????

[3catwoman3]

1. While Iwas a nursing student, I worked weekends as a unit...

...clerk in the minor trauma section of the emergency department of my university’s hospital. On the inside of one of the doors of those old-fashioned metal storage cabinets, there was a collection of various objects that had been removed from assorted orifices.

It was an impressive array.

[fierywoman]

3. And you're going to leave us hanging???? (ROFLOL)

[Basement Beat]

5. Exactly! Gotta hear about some of the most memorable ones!

[3catwoman3]

7. See post #6.

[3catwoman3]

9. See post #6.

[MontanaMama]

4. Such as?

We’re all adults here...

[3catwoman3]

8. See post #6.

[Journeyman]

2. Ah but I must conclude, in this regard I thankfully lead a very boring life . . .

[3catwoman3]

6. The one that stands out was the story of a woman...

...who managed to insert a sewing machine bobbin into her urethra.

I cannot imagine how that is even possible.

I arrived at work one morning to find everyone sort of snickering. A man in his 50's had sneaked into his sister's home in the middle of the night, and attempted to pleasure himself with his sister's vacuum cleaner. Not just the hose, mind you, but the carpet brush. At that time, in the early 1970s, there was a popular Sears/Kenmore model known as the Beater Bar Power Mate, which had apparently been the "weapon of choice," so to speak.

[47of74]

11. Beater Bar

[Kaleva]

10. Keeping a bottle of mouthwash up the ass seems counterproductive.

[NickB79]

12. "SLIPPED & FELL ON WET FLOOR AT HOME & ALSO HAS HAD SEX TOY STUCK IN VAGINA FOR 8 MONTHS"

Woah......

[krispos42]

13. Damn good batteries, I guess...