What Is the U.S. Navy Telling Trump?

[gfarber]

37. The Strait Dilemma

There once was a Donald named Trump,
Who faced quite a maritime slump.
Advisers all said,
“Send ships there and you’re dead—
That strait would make warships go thump.”

He asked, “Can our Navy defend
Those tankers from end unto end?”
The experts replied,
“With Iran on each side,
Your ships would be targets, my friend.”

“With land bases not in our grip,
They’d strike any escorting ship.
No warning would sound,
Just missiles inbound—
Best not start that dangerous trip.”

So Trump said, “Perhaps allies could try—
Send fleets through that narrow pass by.”
But nations all thought,
“That plan’s overwrought…
Not us, we’d much rather not die.”

And so in a puzzling morass,
He’s stuck like a mule in the grass.
The lesson, some say,
Still echoes today:
“Stupid does what stupid has.

Disclaimer: Yes, an AI helped write this—because if you’re looking for pure, hand-crafted literary suffering, you’re welcome to go produce some yourself. If you like my attempts, consider clicking the link.

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