I’m so sorry for your loss. 
She has an ongoing issue that she needs surgery for but has been reluctant to deal with. It’s serious, and she doesn’t trust medical care.
All that points to frustration for us kids and not a good eventual outcome for her. No medical power. I asked her once, and she said she preferred to die than go to a hospital.
She’s in her mid-80s and very difficult. Our relationship isn’t the best, but it’s also hard to deal with her from several hours away when she clearly needs medical care.
I saw this one coming for the past two weeks, since she told me her catheter had broken and she taped it (??). She’s been getting sicker but wouldn’t connect the dots. I knew this was happening - that she likely had an infection- but she wouldn’t go to the doctor. Sigh.
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