I'm going to look at an Assisted Living place on Friday. Any advice you can give me (what to look for or ask about)?

[mnhtnbb]

23. I had to find assisted living for my dad

after my mom died and I moved him from CA where there was no family to North Carolina where I had just moved. There was no room in my house for him.
The first place I found worked very well for him for about a month. Then my husband and I went over one Sunday to watch a football game with him and found him on the floor in his room. He was cold and had been down there for some time. I asked the family practitioner we were going to and she recommended a family owned facility. After visiting it, I moved him there to assisted living and in less than a week they called and said he needed the nursing level of care, so we moved him to a room on that side of the facility. He was there for a little over a year before he passed away and I was pleased with his care. I would go visit him 2-3 times/week. My husband (an MD) would go at least once/week.
My concern for you would be to find out how a facility would accommodate both of you needing different levels of care. Will they require you to separate and be in two different rooms? What happens if one of you develops dementia? Can there be an aide assigned to provide additional care to one of you if you are both in the same room?
Have you asked your primary doc to recommend a facility? Do you have any family --or close younger friend--who will visit at least every week or two at different times of day to advocate for you?
Have you thought about hiring additional help to come to your home on a daily basis?
Good luck!