I'm getting both a colonoscopy and an endoscopy Monday morning.

[LuckyCharms]

This will be my 6th colonoscopy and 4th(?) endoscopy (upper GI, tube down the throat).

This will be my first of these procedures with my new GI doctor.

I was traumatized pretty badly during my last endoscopy with my previous GI doctor, because I woke up during the fucking thing and started to panic.

After that endoscopy, I was being wheeled in for a colonoscopy a few weeks later. I greeted the doc, and asked him to please make sure that I didn't wake up during the colonoscopy, because he traumatized me during his previous endoscopy. I normally do not mind waking up during colonoscopies at all, but this time, I was still feeling the anxiety from waking up during the endoscopy, so I made a simple request to this fucker to go harder on the versed during the colonoscopy so I wouldn't wake up.

So with my ass and junk hanging out in all of its glory, this fucker proceeded to scold me like I was a child, in front of 3 female nurses. He stated it was not his job to put me to sleep, only to make me comfortable, I panicked because I had a tube down my throat ha ha ha, blah, blah, blah. So I glared at this son of a bitch without saying a word. What are you going to say to a guy holding a long tube and getting ready to feed the damn thing into your intestines? That's right...I didn't say a word.

He did his thing, and then I did mine. I fired the fucker and got a new GI doctor.

My old doctor just used the twilight drug versed. My new doctor made a point of explaining to me that he ALWAYS has an anesthesiologist in the room, and he uses that heavy duty anesthesia that begins with a "P". I forget the name of it.

So this is all good, except that with my last colonoscopy with the previous doctor, I had a hell of a time keeping my blood glucose up the night before. I'm a type 1 diabetic, and that prep fucked me up badly. For some reason, that gallon of liquid prep dropped my blood sugar down horribly low. That time, I was able to chug Sprite soda, and my glucose still would not come up. So when I went to the hospital for the colonoscopy in the morning, I was on the verge of slipping into a coma because my glucose was in the low 40's. I stumbled into the hospital reception area and just said "IV dextrose, now". They rushed me in and hooked me up to a sugar IV, and I recovered.

This Sunday is going to be worse because I'm having the endoscopy along with the colonoscopy, and getting the heavy duty sedation. This means I can't have any soda or candy after midnight if my glucose drops.

What I'm going to have to do if my glucose drops overnight is to drink clear soda, eat hard candy, whatever I have to do to get that glucose up. Then, I'll have to tell the anesthesiologist what I did, and he will have to limit his anesthesia drug to just versed (twilight drug only) so I don't aspirate my stomach contents while I'm under.

I've been worried about this for months. The colonoscopy prep for a type 1 diabetic is a huge pain in the ass. It's like walking a tight rope trying to maintain a high enough, but not too high, blood glucose level.

So I'll probably be posting here on my phone Sunday night while sitting on the toilet. Whining and whining and whining.

Thanks for reading.