I had a wonderful dream this afternoon.

[LuckyCharms]

I did some hard work today, then crashed out hard in the recliner. I had this great dream about my mom, that recalled a real-life incident that I had forgotten about.

I must have been in my 30s, so my mom would have been in her 70s at this time, or thereabouts.

I have an enclosed front porch, and I was sitting out there with my friends (single guy, and another guy with his wife).

We were drinking wine, eating peaches, and listening to some tunes.

Phone rings, it's my mom.

What are you doing, Lucky?

Drinking wine and eating fruit, mom. What are you doing?

I miss you, I want to come and see you.

Well mom, I'd pick you up, but I've had a few glasses of wine, so I probably shouldn't drive.

I'll take the bus!

OK, if you want to.

She asked me how many people were there, and I said 3, plus me.

About an hour later, we're sitting out there, and I see her walking down the street, struggling to carry all of these bags. She lived about 6 miles away from me, and she had taken the bus to a diner that is about a mile away, and walked from there to my house...and she bought all this food. Sausage, pepper and onion subs...fries, onion rings, even desserts.

She came onto the porch and sat with us.

Now, she never had a drop of alcohol in her life. Not one drop.

She's watching us all drink wine, and she's eyeing up the wine bottle.

How's that wine?

It's good mom.

Let me try some.

No mom.

Why not?

Because you don't drink, that's why.

Oh c'mon, just a little.

No!

C'mon, Lucky.

So I went and got her a tiny cordial glass, and she had a little wine.

Then she had a little more.

Maybe the equivalent of half of a glass of wine.

She got fucking shitfaced. On half a glass of wine.

Big toothy giggles, open mouthed laughs, dirty jokes, sexual references, slurring words, etc.

Let me tell you something I never told you about your father...

NO MOM!

No, let me tell you...

No! Shhhhhh..... Shush mom....Shhhhhh....

OK Lucky...I won't embarrass you in front of your friends.

My friends wife was turning purple she was laughing so hard...

Mom had to spend the night in the spare room.