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Arizona

Hugh_Lebowski

(33,643 posts)

4. While you're in doing edits ...

Reply to AZLD4Candidate (Reply #2)

Sun Jul 25, 2021, 10:53 PM

Jul 2021

That one paragraph basically make 4 requests of the reader to look at the picture.

Reflect, Look, Look, Look.

Comes off as both redundant, and a bit 'demanding' of the reader, esp. when the photos make the common thread very obvious in the first place ... just trying to be helpful

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From my Campaign Website: Everywhere around the world, they're looking at America [View all] AZLD4Candidate Jul 2021 OP

I don't think this reads in the way you mean it to Hugh_Lebowski Jul 2021 #1

agreed. AZLD4Candidate Jul 2021 #2

Now it has a grammatical problem but is getting better :) nt Hugh_Lebowski Jul 2021 #3

This is what happens when a writer (me) has an idea and writes something as punchy as I am AZLD4Candidate Jul 2021 #5

While you're in doing edits ... Hugh_Lebowski Jul 2021 #4

Anything about the message? AZLD4Candidate Jul 2021 #7

One more edit, a typo, 3rd sentence: "thew" world instead of the world. femmedem Jul 2021 #6