So tomorrow evening I have a talk scheduled with someone

[TygrBright]

3. Main thing: Do what you can to keep your emotions out of it as much as possible.

So first, deal with your scareds. What's the WORST THING that can happen? How does that compare to having your house hit by a tornado, your best friend dying unexpectedly or some REAL bad stuff?

Pretty small, right? Just interpersonal shit, we deal with it all the time. Deep breaths. The only thing your feelings can do is make it worse.

Then sit down and PLAN this conversation. What is your goal for this conversation? How do you want this conversation to end?

What (from you) is most likely to elicit that goal and end the conversation the way you want it to end? What (from her) is most likely to derail that progress and what will be the best way for you to deal with that? (Hint: It's almost ALWAYS some variation of "Well, I don't want to argue about that, let's move on to something else.&quot

If you have all this serious bottled-up stuff with this person, talk it out with SOMEONE ELSE ahead of time, someone who will help you get perspective and regain your calm. A sponsor or a friend in the program, whatever.

Remember, she pushes your buttons, she wins. You stay cool, you win. No matter how good it would feel at that moment to go off on her and let the bottled-up stuff out, it would feel worse later.

Best of luck. The fact that you're thinking ahead is a real good sign. Just don't get on the stressy-go-round.

helpfully,
Bright