Why isn't it easy?..It is not easy, never has been. Changing one's life is very, very, difficult.

[majdrfrtim]

7. Hooray for the Higher Power!!!

15663 days in a row, here.

Sometimes (like during my first OCONUS deployment, for example, when I was 52 years old, 29 years sober), 24 hours has been *way* too much time to get through, so I’ve had to do life “from now, until chow.” (Hooray for midnight chow, eh?)

And then there have been times (like my third OCONUS deployment, again without a weapon) when I had to do my sobriety “one breath at a time.” {Thought bubble: “Breathe in, Tim; you know how not to drink when breathing in. Now breathe out; you know how not to drink when breathing out.” Repeat as needed.} And I had 33.5 years sober at that point, yet the compulsion to drink had returned, despite having done 90-in-90 prior to deploying.

So, yeah!! It can be really tough — and I can still choose, one breath at a time, when necessary — not to pick up that first drink.

I say again: Hooray for the Higher Power!!! Today is day 15663.

Thanks for sharing your experience, strength, and hope, Stuart G!