cunning baffling mysterious [View all]
thursday i spent a long sweaty time doing my full dress yard work. 10 years ago, i'd have had a single beer, a shower then gone to lie down in the cooler area of the yard and enjoyed the beauty and maybe a nap. a single beer. over the last 6 years, one increased...a lot, then i discovered vodka and champaign and mimosas. i transfered my propensity from other addictions to alcohol addiction. yesterday, ms wonderful, who has a 25 year chip and had been off sugar for almost a year, caffeine for 6 months, and i went to a surprise birthday party for a friend at patio bar. first time at a bar for me since i got sober. we walked around, meeting and greeting, i held my water glass, slipping slowly. ms wonderful, had already promised me if it got too hard, we'd be out in a flash. i did ok. afterwords, we went to a big box hardware store, there, in large crowds of sweaty gardner's and home improver's i got freaked out. time to leave sweetie--we'll get the rest of the stuff when it's not so crowded. it was about these 2 points 1-post yard work cold beer. i really really do not want to start that again. i know that one isn't enough, and a case isn't gonna work either. i like the chips i got in my lap as i type this. 2 patio bars. i really enjoyed watching the world go by on high street as we ate dinner and talked and laughed and talked with our friends. my sponsor is gonna get an earful. can i get some experience/strength/hope from anyone here? i know life can be complicated, but i am glad i'm sober and clean, it's really better
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