Miraculous

[TygrBright]

Yesterday I picked up my new hearing aids. First off, my thanks to the peeps in this forum who shared experience and advice. For those who've had devices a long time, you may not remember just how daunting the process of learning you have hearing loss, deciding what to do about it, and obtaining good help, can be. Even so, many of you stepped up and I really leaned into your knowledge and reassurance.

And now my world is BIG again.

I read many descriptions of the experience of hearing with assistive devices - not all good. In fact, one that stayed with me was "Hearing aids help you hear the way a walker helps you dance."

First let me describe my experience - when the receivers went in I was suddenly aware of a whole soundscape that had been occluded, maybe for years, I don't know how long my hearing loss has been slowly and imperceptibly progressing.

Air movement and ventilation fan noise and crowd noise suddenly came in the open door to the booth in the Costco Hearing Aid Center. Then I felt very YOUNG again, college age, with a memory of being in a rehearsal booth in the music department... where did THAT come from? And I realized I was wearing a mask and I could hear my own breathing, the way I used to in those anechoic booths.

Holy crap.

I just sat there, listening... little electronic noises. The chair squeaking. The audio tech's keyboard tapping. The sound from outside.

She glanced over at me, caught the look on my face. "They're working, right?"

Oh, my. Were they ever.

Did you ever watch those teevee shows from the 1950s that were all shot in the studio, but they had sets that represented the outdoors? "Mister Ed" comes to mind, and some others.

The difference I am experiencing is like the difference between the soundscape of those "outdoor" sets, captured in the soundtrack, and being actually outdoors with air moving, birds chatting, cars passing, an aircraft high overhead, pine branches whispering and a hundred other ambient sounds.

I came home and listened to music. The piccolos! The triangle! The harp glissandos go all the way up! I am like a kid in a candy store.

Another thing I noticed: A sudden relaxation, like shedding tight, uncomfortable clothing. What was that about?

I had read that one effect of hearing loss is increased anxiety and fatigue, merely from the increased effort of listening. My hearing loss isn't that bad - mild in some parts of the spectrum, moderate in the high frequency ranges - so I didn't think that applied to me.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

That ever-so-slight tensing up, that unconscious effort in the presence of sound, WAS affecting me. And now it's gone.

I could dance, I could float... I'm like a younger me again.

Is there a downside? It's not like "natural" hearing, though, right? Why do people say they have so much trouble adjusting to hearing devices?

In order: Yes - I'm temporarily way more conscious of sounds my brain used to naturally de-prioritize, when younger me could hear them as a matter of course. They startle me a bit, grab my attention more than I like. I am told that my brain will re-learn to relegate them to its version of 'background' noise, and this will become less acute as I adjust. I hope so.

No, the sound the receiver renders isn't like "natural" hearing, it's more like a soundtrack- but an exquisitely layered, rendered and balanced soundtrack. I'll take it. It is such an enormous improvement over my "natural" impaired hearing - and my brain can no longer supply an accurate impression of what my "natural" youthful hearing was really like in any great detail. So I am not regretting it.

And, I think there are several reasons people might have a lot of trouble adjusting to hearing devices. The obvious ones relate to the quality of the technology and the match between what you need and what a particular type of device offers in the way of configuration, fit, sound rendering, etc. Of course you'll resist adjustment to a badly-fitting or poorly calibrated/programmed device.

But I think there's also another reason. I'm not an audiologist or researcher, this is just my opinion, but I do have experience observing others in my family, from childhood up, coping with our hereditary hearing loss. And I think one thing that makes adjustment difficult is waiting too long to get help.

We know a lot more about auditory deprivation and its effects now, than we used to. Cumulative effects from hearing being an effortful rather than effortless process can produce anxiety, depression, isolation. And maybe if you get too used to that 'dead air' soundscape, your brain reacts to the experience of a vastly expanded soundscape with confusion, rejection, and more annoyance and anxiety at the effort of parsing it into something meaningful?

So, note to my younger self: Don't wait, you'll be glad you didn't put it off another year.

And to anyone who has hereditary hearing loss in your family - start getting your hearing tested early! When loss manifests, don't wait until it gets "bad", because you think you'll "lose" something by replacing the experience of "natural" hearing.

Life is playing its glorious music...

gratefully,
Bright