Trump's election has been a major blow in my grief journey (lost my son to suicide)

[crimycarny]

I'm not sure if this is the correct forum to be posting this, but I lost my son in 1/2022 to suicide (was a shock to everyone, my son had no diagnosed mental illness). He and I talked politics all the time and were worried about the 2020 election. My son was able to see Biden be elected President, but I think the mental damage from the toxic and chaotic environment Trump created as well as the havoc and isolation of COVID were just too much for my son. He ended his life about 3 weeks after January 6th.

Rightly or wrongly, I was hanging onto Harris's beating Trump as a "sign" that there is a point to this life. It may sound odd, and I'm not exactly sure why Trump's re-election delivered such a blow to my faith, but the tiny tiny thread of hope I had in any sort of afterlife, or point to this life, disintegrated after Trump's re-election.

There is no "Creator" guiding this world. There is no point in choosing love versus hate, or trying to live a good life, because if someone as evil as Trump can destroy so many lives yet suffer zero consequences, then our existence in this world and what happens to us is just random coincidence. There is no "karma", no consequences for evil, and no reward for good. We're just random beings with zero point and when we die, that's it. Nothing we do matters.

Since Trump's re-election, I no longer try to "talk" to my son as if maybe he is there in some sort of afterlife. My soul was mortally wounded when my son died, only a small whisper of it still hanging on to hope, now my soul is completely dead. I can't wait until this life is over.

Sorry to be so depressed, but I just had to get my thoughts out.