We had several frank discussions about it because it drove me nuts. Some of our biggest arguments were about his hoarding (and gun control. ugh). The tall piles of stuff made me extremely anxious. They made him feel safe. He was literally building walls of junk around himself and the outside world. Eventually, we split the house up into his rooms, where he could hoard and stack and pile to his heart’s content, and my rooms. And, eventually, his stuff spilled over into my rooms. And the kitchen. And everywhere.
In desperation, I researched hoarding and discovered it can be tied to PTSD, which I had long suspected he suffered from, along with severe ADHD. He went to a counselor with a PTSD specialty and it was working! I was seeing a difference in his moods and general demeanor, and he wasn’t bringing new stuff into the house several times a week. We even threw out a few garbage bags of trash which was a HUGE deal.
His Medicaid only paid for 12 sessions. Everything reverted back to how it was after the appointments ended.
I have no doubt long term PTSD therapy would have ‘cured’ his need to hoard, as well as helped with many other issues.
He ended up in federal prison on drug charges and it took me 4 months to sort, clean, and pack up that house so I could move. I had to open every single box we had been dragging around from house to house for a decade, and look at every single item to determine what to do with it. Some boxes were just full of trash. Like, literal trash. Paid around $700 in fees and wages to have the handyman haul stuff to the dump. Unbeknownst to me, ex had been renting the detached garage behind the house. It was full– there was even a truck in there I had no idea about. I also found years-old evidence in those boxes that he had been using again long before I realized it. He was successful in hiding it from me until that last year or so. I hate thinking of anyone in jail, but it likely saved his life.
It’s a serious, unhealthy issue that negatively effects everyone around the hoarder. I’m glad it’s on the Commission’s radar. I have a feeling the solution is identifying sufferers and getting them proper psychological treatment… but we all know how unlikely that is with the current, sad state of health insurance.
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