Just had an epiphany [View all]
The narcissistic abuse endured by myself, my siblings, and our mother by our father originated in his father.
Our father had to learn his method of browbeating, denigrating, controlling, degrading (and more) from somewhere. He wasn't born with it.
I suddenly remembered how our mother would criticize Dad's sisters for being too emotional, too hysterical, too dramatic. I actually saw one aunt screaming, crying, being hysterical, with clothes being strewn around a motel room just before going to my cousin's wedding. It was something. This was 53 years ago. I saw it.
My point: All those hysterics, emotional responses had to come from somewhere. And no, you can't fall back on they had "something wrong" with them. They were reacting like I reacted when my father was on a mission to hurt and to damage.
To me, this demonstrates that my grandfather was abusive to everyone in his family, zero empathy. He was engaged to a young woman for 3-1/2 years in 1900 before jilting her behind her back to marry my grandmother. He didn't know my grandmother, didn't love her, but wanted to be brought into the business of her brother. That's how marriages happened sometimes back in the day. His fiancée saw the publication of the NEW marriage license in the newspaper THE MORNING OF THE WEDDING OF MY GRANDPARENTS. The first fiancée was left as damaged goods and never married. My aunt was born as a result of marital rape.
My grandfather was a prick. Who begot another prick, who mentally abused me and my family. I'm the only one who got out alive with my sanity.
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