The staggering, exhausting, invisible costs of caring for America's elderly

[Farmer-Rick]

4. Saw this happen with my spouse

First one kidney went, then the heart, then the other kidney and finally the heart gave out altogether. I slowly watched this suffering for over 5 years. So many emergency room visits, so many surgeries. I felt like I was living on the edge of a cliff waiting for the next medical emergency, getting closer to the edge with each traumatizing medical event.

I think I may have saved my spouse's life at least 3 times. But in the end there was nothing anyone could do. You feel like a failure.

And like the other poster said, I am so, so, so grateful they weren't around when the pandemic hit. At least we were able to get out and about without the fear of a deadly disease.

The real problem with senior care is the cost of medical needs and living assistance. Take those costs out of the equation and it gets a little better. At least I was retired and we had really good health insurance.

But don't count on long term care insurance. My mother outlived her long term care insurance. Then we got to play the game of running down her assets so she would be eligible for Medicare nursing home care. Those insurance plans have expiration dates.