she left her husband and is working two jobs to pay the bills and he is not helping her at all-- however he comes over, sometimes takes her for dinner etc (kind of complicated dynamics).
She has 3 kids, one living with her, one at college and the other one is 21 and living at the house with her husband and basically wasting his time playing video games and working part time.
I don't want her to stress out about buying presents -- not at all. I don't want her wasting the precious dollars she makes on "something" that can be wrapped-- I want for nothing. I just want her to be happy.
I did send her some Christmas cookies. I suggested when the rest of the family comes over (they live in a city out of state)-- just make some things they like. For example, my 13 yo nephew is very hard to buy for in the best of circumstances but he LOVES deviled eggs. I said--make him a tray of them. That is special and meaningful to him and won't end up broken on his closet floor.
My brother's girlfriend's mother just died and I'm sure he doesn't want to deal with extended family gifts either. Just getting it together for his kids and her kids is hard enough.
I much prefer getting together with a good meal and talking and maybe playing a game. My Dad used drive us nuts taking pictures instead of just being together.
I can relate to how you are feeling, my mother always had feelings of inadequacy at Christmas time. I don't know how to help that. I think providing something to your family that is uniquely you would make them happy whether it is peanut brittle, cake/cookies, tie dye, music, photography, written stories or poetry, painting etc. What I treasure the most from my sister is a set of beaded ornaments she made one year when we all agreed to exchange ornaments (handmade or otherwise).
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