Giving, Receiving... and *stuff*

[SheilaT]

22. Heads up everyone.

We all have the choice about whether or not to buy into the excessive consumption that's so common in this country.

About twenty-five years ago my entire family gathered and for the first time ever I was going to be obligated to give presents to all -- brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, the spouses. I didn't have very much money. So I set a five dollar guideline per person (that's just over nine dollars today according to an on-line inflation calculator) and simply got very creative. If anyone in the family thought I was being too cheap, too bad. I found that the limited funds made me think very hard about each and every gift.

Sometimes making something (I can crochet and I make a little jewelry) or making cookies or giving a gift of time, such as baby-sitting, can be at least as welcome as some store-bought something that really won't ever be used.

It's also OK, in my opinion, to tell family members that you simply can't afford to buy stuff. AND DON'T FEEL GUILTY. I know it's a whole lot harder if you can't buy much for your young children, and all of their friends seem to get the most expensive stuff out there. But it's up to you, the parent, to shape their expectations, to tell them what's really important. Maybe serving at the homeless shelter on Christmas Day would make them fully appreciate what they actually have.