Thriving

[mntleo2]

1. I struggle with this too OGR

It has taken me years to understand my dislike of wealth.

First I wondered if it was envy. But it was not, it is a kind of anger/pity.

Then I wondered if somehow I was mentally sick and rejecting wealth and the wealthy. Everyone else seemed to think it should be something to strive for. No for most of my adult life I honestly could care less for anything more than having enough food and shelter.

Then I wondered if my own poverty just made me too suspicious. Yes it does as I have learned the most generous of all the classes are the ones who have the least, *not* the ones who have the most who hoard WAY more than they need. This somewhat explained my anger because it is frustrating to watch someone with far more than they need sit by while someone they profess to "love" suffer in need when all they sit on is what they DON'T need.

As a person raised within Christianity, I got conflicting messages from my faith. One was that, "God loves you more" if you are rich and that poverty was a kind of punishment for being sinful. The other was that poverty was a kind of noble way to live, that it was a "choice" you made. Neither IMO is true.

I am still disdainful of wealth and have allowed this to take root in my heart. Anyone who sits on way more than they need is indeed full of fear and this is sad and VERY angering for me to watch because of the suffering one person's fear brings to the thousands around this fearful person.

It is true that I cannot always "consider the lilies of the field who neither toil nor reap yet they are fabulously clothed and beautiful to behold with plenty from the sun, rain and earth..." (reference to Jesus telling us to just trust God to provide) ...which well, She doesn't always do. I have to ask, "What about all the "lilies" who don't get enough of these, or the seeds that have died for want of these? So while I am willing to accept "God's will", no I am not gonna lay down and just live from day to day willy-nilly, I am gonna work hard and plan and prepare some things, so I can lay away "for the winter".

Still I have to say OGR, that this is not something I do lightly and I still question it. I will say that I am proud of all I have learned from my suffering in poverty in a way that shows I will always share what I have, especially if what I have is what they need, I will do without with as cheerful a heart as I can, and make sure that I am glad for all I have.

My 2 cents

Cat in Seattle