Astrology, Spirituality & Alternative Healing

Remember Me

(1,532 posts)

15. Comforting doesn't necessarily mean advice-giving

Sat Dec 31, 2011, 07:09 PM

Dec 2011

Hah! I should talk. I'm all about wanting to "fix" things and this is THE hardest thing for me to do. Hard to remember, let alone do.

But I think the advice to just listen is the best. One way to help is to reflect back to her what she's said to you --

"So if I understand you right,...."

"That must be hard...."

"It sounds as if you...."

Those and others like them are statements that let someone know they've been heard and understood (not necessarily agreed with) --which is SO important -- and they usually go on from there, with more discussion and explanation.

And you can always send her love (Universal Love). Or envelop her in pink light. Maybe put her firmly in God's hands. Or, if you don't believe in God yourself (???), Spirit's hands, or the Universe's hands, or -- ?? You get the idea.

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

26 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

My friend's young daughter passed away from leukemia recently and she is mad at God [View all] freeplessinseattle Dec 2011 OP

What I appreciated the most... OneGrassRoot Dec 2011 #1

I do get that, but simply remaining silent while she is pouring her heart out freeplessinseattle Dec 2011 #2

I don't have insight about the religious aspect... OneGrassRoot Dec 2011 #4

Thank you, it does help to know that simply being silent isn't necessarily freeplessinseattle Dec 2011 #9

Comforting doesn't necessarily mean advice-giving Remember Me Dec 2011 #15

i'm of the same mind as OGR. Howler Dec 2011 #3

Thank you. I guess i just feel that if I remain silent freeplessinseattle Dec 2011 #6

maybe she feels more comfortable telling you that WolverineDG Dec 2011 #12

Whoa ! Whoa! Whoa! Howler Dec 2011 #19

I agree with OGR and Howler Tumbulu Dec 2011 #5

Thank you, that is a good idea, I will ponder on some ideas freeplessinseattle Dec 2011 #7

Perhaps ask what she needs and listen Matariki Dec 2011 #8

she says she wants to try to process things but doesn't know how freeplessinseattle Dec 2011 #10

Yeah, that's really really tough Matariki Dec 2011 #13

Thank you Matariki! and get this, her daughter was signed up for a promising study freeplessinseattle Dec 2011 #16

Probably the worst thing given to my dad & me when my mom died was WolverineDG Dec 2011 #11

After my dad died when I was a kid rosesaylavee Dec 2011 #14

Be her friend. BlueToTheBone Dec 2011 #17

Grieving PADemD Dec 2011 #18

You know Freepless, I'm dealing with cancer as we speak and I just got home from watching Ecumenist Jan 2012 #20

I'm so sorry to hear that. Cleita Jan 2012 #22

Thank you Cleita!! Ecumenist Jan 2012 #25

what ecumenist said magical thyme Jan 2012 #23

If you stop believing in God, then there is no one to blame would be a cynic's answer. Cleita Jan 2012 #21

Well Said, Cleita! Ecumenist Jan 2012 #24

Here's my two cents. SheilaT Jan 2012 #26