Please pray for me as I go through a relationship separation.

[MADem]

12. Have you broached the subject at all? Offered to adhere to household rules, or anything of that

nature? Is the split rancorous, or just matter-of-fact? Is there enough privacy in the home to support two "roommates" who are polite and sensitive to one another and know how to get out of the way?

Believe me, I know that these kinds of things can be difficult. I most certainly do feel your pain. And I can most certainly understand your concerns, not just for yourself but your dog as well. You are quite right, the dogs will be distraught if they are separated--they don't understand these things like we pretend to.

If he's the less mature one, and don't take this the wrong way...but perhaps he can be guided to come to a sensible decision. If you normally fulfill certain roles, perhaps there's a way to make him realize that he'll lose the benefit of your gardening, or housekeeping, or cooking, etc., if you move on--that even with a change of status in the relationship, that it still works on some levels and why not just leave things as they are.

Is it an irretrievable circumstance? I don't mean in terms of the personal relationship, but in terms of the relationship devolving into friendship? Lots of hate and animosity and resentment? If so, any way to try to dial that back? If there's a new person in the mix, can that person be integrated into the dynamic or is that just too difficult? Do you see any point in making the offer? If you think I am being nosy, truly, I am not, I don't need answers to these questions, I am just asking them to give you a framework for working through your issues--I am just trying to give you an outsider's perspective, because I have seen this kind of thing happen before, and I've seen good outcomes, and not-so-good, too.

If you can't tamp down the dynamic to stay put for a while, they say living well is the best revenge. Perhaps you'll find a beautiful English basement with a garden/fenced yard for the dog, with a kind landlord/lady who isn't nosy and just likes a cup of tea and a chat every week or so, and who will love the dog like a family member and babysit if you have to go out of town! It would be so much easier, though, if you could move on under your own steam and on your own timeline, without stress or agita.

In any event, here's a big virtual -- I hope you not just land on your feet, but come through this stronger than ever.