Bereavement
In reply to the discussion: My husband died suddenly in August. He was 52. [View all]3catwoman3
(27,226 posts)Last edited Sat Nov 6, 2021, 08:59 PM - Edit history (1)
"I'm ok, and hanging on by a thread at the same time."
Unexpected deaths can feel a nanosecond ago, and forever ago, all at the same time. I don't know why that is, but it is absolutely true. In 1978, when I was only 26, my brother, 23 and my only sibling, died in a scuba diving adventure that went awry. It was devastating.
For me, wrenching as that was, I was relieved, if that is the right word, that I had not had to watch him waste away from some terrible illness.
Something I learned from my mother after my brother died was that she found it helpful and comforting when people spoke of him and shared memories. It made her feel that he had not been forgotten. People around you always want to know if there is anything they can do for you, but often hesitate to speak of the person you are missing, because they don't want to make you feel sad. My mother said, "I'm already as sad as I could be, so talking about him doesn't make it worse." If sharing memories of your husband is of comfort to you, maybe your friends and family need to know that it is OK to talk about him, even if you get weepy.
Hugs from afar.
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