And I took the kids with me. I'm torn about whether it was a good idea or not. On one level, I'm happier than I would've been. I'm closer to my family (double-edged sword) and I'm able to go to a good university (only a small community college where I was living), I'm in the city (instead of in the boonies) and I have many, many more friends here.
Financially it was not the right thing to do. There was no way I could've known that, however. I left the marital home which was purchased before house prices became really high where I am (it's a booming area). I left it because my parents promised me a place to stay (among other financial incentives) until I was able to 'get back on my feet'. I figured that meant a year or 2 so I could go to school and save up for a down payment. After 5 months my parents kicked me out (decided that they didn't want the whole extended family under one roof after all, after my mom told me that it would be a great idea and that's how other cultures do it) and I had to scramble to get a damage deposit, first month's rent AND a full year's tuition (that my parents had promised to pay but didn't) together all at the same time (yes they kicked me out just as school was starting). My rent is $500 more a month than my previous mortgage payment was. AND I have a long commute to school so I pay a lot in fuel. Had I stayed behind and gotten a generic business diploma from the community college and gone to work (lots of jobs, it's up north - I'm in Canada - and booming) I'd be way further ahead financially. I just recently bought a duplex, which was at the top end of what I could afford (my marital home was a large single family home) and the payments on that will be more than my mortgage was. At least it will be cheaper than my rent is.
Overall, I think I'm okay I left because at least I don't run into the 'other woman' at the store in a small town, and being in the city means I am able to make more friends that have more in common with me. I don't have to see my ex much because he only comes every once in awhile to see the kids (his choice).
I'm torn on whether what I did was the right thing or not. It was very traumatic for the kids, but they are all okay with it now. I'm glad I'm away from the drama my ex was perpetuating between his girlfriend and parents and me. I don't think I'd have healed if I had been subjected to the drama for much longer. So many variables - I don't know if I'd do it the same way again.
= new reply since forum marked as read