Knowing when to walk away.

[SheilaT]

12. Start pulling down those bricks.

Do not let yourself spend years in a stagnant place.

I know how hard it is. At least I know how hard it was for me. And I'm not just talking about my marriage, but a relationship long before I married, that lasted seven years. I let that drag on much longer than it should have. My only excuse is that I was young and stupid.

No matter how old you are, it's never too late to start again. It ALWAYS feels as if things will be awful forever, you'll never love again, you've thrown away the only thing you might have had. Nonsense. You can start over at any age. True, it won't be the same as when you were younger, but you can always start a new life.

Here's my story connected to my divorce. I married at 32, we had two kids, a reasonably decent marriage. After 25 years of marriage he met someone else he decided he'd rather be with. To say I felt betrayed doesn't begin to cover it, but I realized very quickly there was no changing his mind, no turning back. So I moved 800 miles away to another part of the country and started a new life at the age of 60. I'm 66 now, and have a very good life. New friends. I worked for a while, and retired last year. I'm not rich. I need to live frugally, but I'm fortunate enough not to be destitute. I have two grown sons I don't see as often as I'd like, but they have their own lives, and that's very good.

Whether we remain married forever or wind up on our own, our lives don't often turn out exactly as we'd hoped. It's important, I believe, to make the best of what we have and to move forward.

I hope you get out of that corner and make your life as it should be.