A theory

[Warpy]

8. Same here, trauma does bad things to kids

especially when grownups minimize it or say stupid things like "if you don't keep talking about it, you'll forget all about it," like that was going to happen at 16, after a murder.

If you''re lucky, you just feel oddly disconnected from kids who grew up in milk and cookies families. If you're very unlucky, you grow up with background depression and/or anxiety that doesn't respond to drugs, something I suspect is true in the OP's case.

But however we all got here, fellow loners, I salute you. Some have a natural inclination to it. Others just got tire of feeling like the only sober person in a roomful of drunks. We're all here, we know who we are, and we're survivors.