Fuck me, man! I don't wish this shit on anyone.

[jmbar2]

34. I am so very sorry.

Went through it with my dad. Here are some suggestions:

While your mom is still reasonably cognizant, start creating a "Memory Book" of her life to take with her to the nursing home.

Scan photos from all the high points of her life - birth, childhood, school days, prom, wedding, kids, vacations, hobbies. Label and date everything, perhaps telling the story of her life. Include group family photos with all the names and birthdays. But keep it short enough that a nursing home staff member can review it with her in one setting. Her whole life in 15-20 minutes.

Put it in a nice ring binder. It will help her future caregivers engage her in conversation, and get to know who she was before this terrible disease took her mind away. The older memories tend to last longer, so the book will jog her memories of the joyful times in her life.

Perhaps make some CDs of the music from peak points in her life. When my dad was nonverbal, he could still be brought back for a few minutes when he heard Louis Armstrong and the Hot Five.

The work that you put into it now will also help you in the future when you have to plan her funeral.

Take care of yourself, and keep us informed. You are a solid person here on DU and we care.