Elder mother-in-law refuses to move to assisted living

[3Hotdogs]

12. Things vary with the individual and which state.

Elder lawyer and municipal social worker are where to start.

Immediate concern is the person getting lost. Is it possible to place a locating/tracking device in her car if she still drives? Or in her wallet? Tell her its a good luck charm or whatever else works.

We hired a senior "advisor." Couple-a hundred bucks spent= useless.

Guardianship in N.J. required a psychiatrist's diagnosis.

We finally got her into "memory care" unit of assisted living when her tenant upstairs, came home at 2 am and found her in the driveway. She had her house key in her hand but didn't know how to use it to get in the house.

We took her for a "vacation" for her birthday. The staff led her into the memory unit and closed the secured door. From there, she lasted 10 years with psychological decline. She finally passed away at a V.A. facility.

For some people, the decline is fast. One guy, 52 years old, former lawyer, went into assisted living where my mother was. He died 2 months later. Typical lifespan is 2 - 3 years. Again, my mother declined over a 10 year period and died at age 98.